A Journey To God's Resort

The end

2008-09-01T18:06:00.006-05:00

Sometimes when two people take a journey, their paths must seperate.
This is what has happened to Katie and I. She headed north and is now living in Chigaco. She has a great year a head of her. If you want news about her she is now over here at a worldupsidedown.
As for me, well i have a new roommate and will stay at God's Resort a bit longer. For more info on me, you can find me here.
As for this blog, well its the end. For now!
Thanks for all your prayers and support.

In Christ
Megan A Calderon.

Mentor Sleepover!

2008-08-11T22:04:00.002-05:00

We had a mentor/mentee sleep over the other night with the girls and had an awesome time doing what girls do best: watching chick flicks, painting nails, doing facials, and eating junk food! We couldn't resist doing all the stereotypical things with the girls. We had been promising a sleepover for a year and it was time we delivered!

All good things come to an end

2008-08-11T21:50:00.004-05:00

Well I have around two weeks left here at God's Resort. I cannot believe we have been here for over a year and now my time is coming to a close. This past year has literally been the most amazing experience of my life and I could not imagine having expected to learn the lessons in life I have over the past year.

I have some updates on where I am heading next. I was chosen to be the team captain of my team of 3 girls and 2 guys. We are from all over the US and I am so excited to meet them soon! We will be living in a neighborhood known as La Villita (Little Village) in Chicago that is apparently 83% Latino. We will be attending both Spanish and English services with New Life Community Church there. I am so excited to be more immersed in Spanish culture and have more opportunities to use my tiny amount of Spanish and hopefully learn more.

Things are still going amazing down at God's Resort. We are moving forward with obtaining our status as a non-profit organization and that should be in place soon. Our church just announced that North Joplin Christian Church, which disbanded a few months ago, has offered College Heights their property in order to create an outreach ministry similar to that at God's Resort on the north side of town! I continue to be amazed at how God works in our community. It is truly amazing how much more incredible His plan is than ours. This new neighborhood faces many of the same problems as our current work at God's Resort and I know God wants to do great things there. Our church is currently meeting in preparation for a vote to determine the congregation's feelings on acquiring the property and then the elders will make the final decision, so we need lots of prayer right now for this decision to match God's will. I'm not too worried, if God wants it He will find a way.

If you want to keep up with my new adventure in Chicago check out my blog for Mission Year at www.missionyear.org/blog/katiehargrove

To much t talk about in one post.

2008-08-07T10:37:00.003-05:00

This morning as Katie was driving to drop me off to work we were talking about how we havent really posted much over the summer. But hopefully as school starts and we get into a seady routine things will get better.
As i comment on whats been going on i will start with the newest stuff and work my way back. Instead of just throwing out information.
Last night we had the second city meeting in the backyard. THe first one was great! People showed up and made comments about things that they want done to make the neigborhood better. At the meeting last night the City of Joplin people unveiled the new plans for what will actually happen. It was exiting to stand there and hear them explain it all, and know that i will hopefully be around long enough to see that happen.
One of the things that they mentioned was the increase of police precense, and enforcement of traffic violations. As they were saying this, Katie and i both turned toward each other and giggled, probably because we were both thinking the same thing "good thing to know, i wont be speeding in the neigbothood anymore, or parking in the wrong direction". Traffic violations are a stumbling block for the two of us.
Already this morning we have seen them actually do what they promised, we passed three police cars in our neighbohood as we drove and also saw a group of inmates picking up trash under police supervision. Its great to see things happening!
it rained last nigh during the meeting, but thats ok. People still stayed, which was amazing and shows how much people really want the neigborhood to get better. With the rain its cooled down a lot. With one window unit in our house for the main living areas and two of our bedrooms, things tend to stay pretty warm. But this will be nice, and we can turn off the AC and hopefully get a break on our electric bill, which im thinking will be the hightest so far this summer because weve been running the AC pretty consistently.

Yesterday in the morning Katie, Josh and his family worked on the yard. Things (bushes and grass) had been a little out of control. It looks so great now. Sometimes its hard to keep up with everything. But their work came at the perfect time, just before the city meeting. There are no words to express our appretiation. Thanks Rick, Anna and Dom for helping out.

Camp: this summer some of the GR kids have been able to go to camp. They have had a lot of fun there. but hopefully they have grown in their faith and developed some friendships with kids that will be an encouragement to them.
I remember going to camp growing up, being away (most of the time because dad was sometimes a dean) from parents and bad friends and take a week to be in the word, to listen to great men preach and just have fun. it was at camp that i came foward and accepted Christ as my personal savior. i will always remember sitting in the chapel and holding on to the bench infront of me not wanting to go up, but wanting to soo badly at the same time. Its a crazy emotion.
i was also at College Age camp this last weekend. it was great. my favorite part of college age camp (other than staying up late playing rockband and sleeping in till noon) was the last night college students went up and talked, gave their testimonies, and encouraged one another.
What an amazing moment, it reminded me of why i fell in love with the college age in the first place, this their passion for God, people, service, and comminuty. And to be able to hear how people were affected by these things. it was truly amazing.

No Internet = No Blogging

2008-07-29T15:58:00.004-05:00

Well, internet access has been somewhat limited lately after quitting working at the university. It's a lame excuse for letting stuff slide, but it's the only one I have. Life has been interesting for a long while at God's Resort, but summer brings a whole new element to the playing field. No school = lots of kids bored and looking for something to do. We have had a blast swimming, going to church camps and VBS, playing at the parks, and going to movies and the library.

There has been a lot of shifting in the neighborhood. One of the families moved away and that was really hard to see them go, even knowing it may be the best thing for them at this time. Eddie and Emilie moved up to Iowa for the summer to work and we were very sad to see them go, but they have come to visit a lot and that has been wonderful. Josh moved in with our friend Brandon and that has been a great time having them there serving alongside us. Abi moved out this past weekend back to Iowa in order to prepare for leaving for North Africa this Fall as a nanny to missionaries from our church. She is so awesome! We have a new roommate Leah who also plans to do missions in Africa but cannot leave for 2 years and wants to spend those two years at God's Resort. We are so excited to have her. She is an amazing prayer warrior and incredible woman. I move soon. Too soon it feels like sometimes.

I move to Chicago August 29th for team training and then go to Atlanta for a time to do group orientation and then back to Chicago for a year! I am so excited to have the opportunity to work with Mission Year, but it is a bittersweet feeling to be leaving God's Resort. One month left. I cannot believe in just a couple days we will hit our one year mark. I remember a time at the beginning where we had no idea if we would make it and here we are :) It has been one of the greatest experiences of my life, no doubt. Keep us in your prayers! A lot is coming into play down at God's Resort. We are becoming our own stand alone non-profit organization and partnering with the City of Joplin (!) in a neighborhood redevelopment program! Incredible isn't it? Who knew that one year could see so much change. Almost all of the buildings have been remodeled to better standards, we have a brilliant newly landscaped backyard, a music stage where we had our first puppet show last Sunday, and a fully functioning community house. God is good, very good.

a much needed update from megan!

2008-06-19T10:27:00.005-05:00

For some of you that didnt know i get the oportunity to go to Italy this summer (july 4th -17th) with CHCC. The missions trip to Italy is gettng closer and closer. This weekend we have our team retreat. I am exited. This will be the first time that i take a trip to a country in a different time zone, and that speak a different language. I am hoping to come out of this trip with more experience and wisdom that will help me with my tasks here at God's Resort. I have been praying about this trip and doing support raising. I am still a bit short on the money side. just $400 more dollars to get to my goal. I try not to stress about it and know that God will provide, but every once in a while i get just a tiny but stressed. I ask that you pray for me and the team as we prepare to leave and as we are there in Italy, serving to the best of our abilities.

Because of the dates of the Italy trip i will not be able to join the Mt Zion youth group in the CIY summer conference. This will be the first summer in 4 years that i dont go with them. Needless to say i am very much bummed. I will be thinking and praying for them as they travel north, but most importatly take steps in their spiritual journey and hopefully come closer to Christ.

Thom and Erica (my sister and brother in law) have set a moving date. They will be leaving Joplin on the 30th of this month. It still hasnt become a reality, the fact that they are leaving. Im sure i will post many a tearful note on here in the future. But it is so important for them to move on and continue on this path that God has put them on.

Summer fun! we are having some fun times down at God's Resort. Here are some photos to prove it! If you are in town this summer give us a call and come hang out!

Sometimes the kids gang up on Abi (shes the one at the bottom, you cant even see her face)

Boomtown where at the beggining of june. this is me, ash and destiny at the Jars of Clay concert!

the luna boys. i think its a fun pic. once again at boomtown days

yesterday was the College Heights church picnic. its quite an ordeal. the kids got to come and play on games and hang out.

after the picnic, Sergio and Antonio joined the college age in playing some hockey. here is antonio pretending to hit katies car.

Brenda can ride a bike!

2008-05-19T13:09:00.003-05:00

With no training wheels!

A while back, Abi and Katie went garage sale shopping for some bikes for us. They found three bikes that we have been riding. We have tanken many bike rides since.
Little Brenda is only five, she has many times been left behind on the bike ridingbecause she didnt have a bike. Her older siblings each have one they can ride or borrow. We have dried many tears as she watches a group of kids take of on the bikes.
She had a little bike, but both of the tired were pretty much gone. I had promised her that as soon as i had some extra cash we would fix her bike. But amazingly her big brother came to the rescue. He took the back tire of off another bike and placed it on hers. She came by the house the other day saying, "i can ride a bike, Tony fixed my bike, and i dont even need training wheels."
so there she is, riding non stop all day long..

...heres to awesome big brothers that offer what they can, that sacrifice for you. She will always see men in a different way because of it. And some day she will be able to him as he has given to her.

May Update

2008-05-13T15:55:00.002-05:00

I found out, almost a month ago now, that I am going to Chicago! I cannot believe the path that God has created for me over the past year and leading into this next one. Only He could have taken me from where I was to where I am now and I am so excited to be on this crazy journey walking next to Him. I am truly psyched for Chicago. In all honesty I have wanted to move to Chicago since I was a freshman in college and knowing I am going to be living there in just a few short months is incredible. My friends I think are just as excited, if not more, that I am going to Chicago because it's the closest of MY's destinations to our "home" here in Joplin. It still is like 9 hours away, but it's the closest. I keep telling them that there are only certain times we are allowed visitors and that I can come home, but that doesn't seem to change their excitement. Many of them are from the Chicago land area and therefore I guess feel this new sense of bonding with me now that I am moving to their home turf. Whatever the reasons are for their excitement, all I know is I am so glad they are excited. My community here are my brothers and sisters and transitioning together as a group through changes for our friends has always been key. We want to be in each other's lives enough that no distance will change our commitment to one another. So moving to Chicago is an awesome high this month!
Another high has been the fifteen billion birthdays this month. Literally like 60% of our entire friend group has birthdays in April and May and so the last month and a half has been like one long birthday party, but what better thing to celebrate right? Also, May 1 marked 3 years of following Christ for me and that just rocks in itself!
The final and greatest high has been the birth of Uriah Daniel Gonzalez, the first baby in our group! The parents are my neighbors and dear friends and being beside them through the whole pregnancy has been an incredible journey. It is so exciting to have him here now with us.
This is just a taste of the great things that are going on these days. As the weather warms up, all the kids are coming out to play and biking around town has become our new favorite pastime (I even learned how to ride with a kid on the bike with me yesterday!). We have started taking cookies across the street to our local AA/NA meeting and that has been really cool meeting new people and their kids. There has been a lot to rejoice over this past month and I wanted to share just a little with you all.

Baby Gonzalez is here.

2008-05-09T17:58:00.002-05:00

Late last night Eddie and Emilie (plus crew) headed to the hospital for the birth of their first child. Uriah Daniel Gonzalez was born this morning at 7:16am. He was 21 inches long and weighed 7 pounds.
Mom and baby are doing well. Resting and visiting with family and friends.

God is good. Please join is in prayers of thanksgiving to Him for the newest resident of God's Resort.

a cat under the hood!

2008-04-30T12:06:00.005-05:00

Before i start this story, i must mention that the little guy is fine. No harm done. And will be returned to its owner (i think Ashley) when i get off work.

This morning started out completaly normal. I got up, showered, got my lunch together to go to work. The mailman came by (Dan Quade) with a package for Katie and I. Exiting stuff!

I get in my car, drive to work. I take my time, i left a little earlier that usual. On my way to work, i get a call from my oldroommate Bev. She wants to borrow my car to go get lunch. So as im waiting for her, to make the trade...

I start hearing this meowing thats coming from near the car. My first instinct told me it must be a bird flying by. Then as i walk around the car, it got louder. And i figure it out. There must be a cat under the hood of my car.

(you know, you always hear stories like that, most of the times it ends tragically. But katie and i lived at God's Resort, surrounded by cats all winter long, and it hadnt even come close to happening).

so i rush back to my car, pop the hood, and sure enough. There was this little fellow:

we called my boss and asked for special permision for me to keep him with me at work. He was really scared. But really im just glad he survived!

I do believe that for the next few days i will be checking under my hood before i take of driving anywhere.

Shower time!

2008-04-22T18:07:00.004-05:00

No, our shower works fine (as long as the neighbors aren't using water). Its baby shower time. On Friday we were all able to celebrate with Eddie and Emilie as they prepare for their baby boy to be born.

Emilie's due date is May 5th. I'm praying that he will come a day early, and be born on my birthday. Emilie is ready for him to come, its hard to be patient these last few days.

Here are a few pictures from the event:

He also celebrated Eddie, all the boys had their little thing. The two groups joined for present opening. And this was Eddie's first.

Emilie is glowing.

The girls did an amazing job planning it. They had all kinds of goodies and snack to munch on. My personal favorite are the chocolate covered pomegranate drops of amazingness.
We also got a good community picture. These are the seven of us that live at God's Resort, with the purpose of ministry and service to the neighborhood. (from L to R: Peter, Eric, Abi, Katie, Emilie, Eddie and Megan)

One more pic, the boys also jumped in on this one. Note Sergio! What an amazing community we have!

2008-04-02T14:54:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I feel like our house is just one giant extension of the outside yard. Like the walls aren't really there, but are just mere allusions pretending to keep things out. We cleaned and cleaned on Monday and at the end of it, didn't have a lot to show for our work. Things look better, but they just don't look clean.

A significant hole fell out of my closet ceiling the other day during community dinner. Water had been leaking all winter and still hadn't been fixed this past Thursday when it finally just flooded through. My clothes were soaked, boxes wet, and debris was everywhere. Not the most pleasant experience by the end of it. The bugs are back. I killed four this morning getting ready in my room. I have to say I didn't miss them at all over the winter. The basement is flooded again, nothing too bad, but enough to make it stink pretty bad by and in my room and the porch smells like wet cats right now. It's really nothing new though which is why it is so funny that I am feeling it so heavily today.

We have lived at God's Resort now for 8 months and I would not take any of it back, but the house is wearing on me today. I am sure next week I will be a different person and it will be fine, but today my spirit is worn down by the chaos and disfunctional nature of our living environment.

A New Horizon

2008-04-01T09:56:00.002-05:00

Do you ever wake up in the morning and just have an uncanny realization that today is a new day? Usually I feel this happen to me a few times a month , but it hadn't in a while until this morning. Megan and I started going to 5:30 prayer again. Actually we told Eddie he could host it at our home so we would have no choice but to wake up really (hey, we have to go to extremes sometimes to be disciplined right?). Having prayer in our house gives me a lot of peace. I remember how much these prayer meetings changed my life a year ago and coming back to them I just feel Him again.

Anyway, so this morning I woke up and we had prayer and then I had coffee with our new brother in the Lord, Vincent. Vincent is in many ways the male version of me three years ago. The similarities in our coming to the Lord are eerie at times. Talking to him this morning though about the struggles Christians face in their walk though was just outstanding. At the same time though, it made me realize a lot of the grey I have allowed to creep into my Christian walk. Grey that should appear much more black and white in a Christian following Christ. So this morning on this brand new glorious morning where the sun was actually shining for the first time in a while, I want to do something about it. Our adult sponsor on our trip to New Orleans asked me while we were down there what things in my Christianity I would take with me to Mission Year as my foundational truths and life commitments. At the time, I gave him a very typical church response, that though true was not very specific. Well it's time to get specific. For the next few months therefore that is my plan and I would love all the help and accountability I can get along the way. I want to look at where I am still falling short of glorifying God in my actions and discipline and quite honestly make a solid, tangible commitment to action to follow Him more diligently and faithfully. I am a person who needs structure and a clear response and without that my responses get all muddled with life and humanity. Why not take this time now while I have it to really look at and seek Godly disciplines in my life? I am tired of pushing life choices aside and saying "one day when I need to I will". That one day is going to come when I am not looking and I am probably going to respond in some pretty ungodly ways without having really given thought to what my life looks like when lived in line with Christ. So here I am diving in head first ready for whatever I may hit as long as it is on the way to Him.

The Past month at God's Resort

2008-03-27T10:02:00.005-05:00

This past month has been a blur of emotions and events that my mind has still not wrapped around yet. All of February was so stressful at work because we were recruiting, interviewing, and picking new students for the Honors Program next Fall. It's a lot of work and a lot of emotions in a very small office and to say the least everyday was tiring. Emilie, Eddie, and Abi moved in and that was amazing, but a whole period of transition. I love all three of those people so I didn't expect any problems transitioning to community in a bigger group, but the whole month has just been hard. Reshaping boundaries, letting in new perspectives on your ministry, and sharing life with three extra people in a very close and personal environment has been rougher for me than I thought it would be. No idea why actually, but I do know I have experienced a range of emotions from godly to ungodly this past month and in the end I hope to come out of it a better person. God has really opened my heart to the selfishness that still lurks in its crevices and the ugliness of it all has really defeated me at times. As Megan said there is a difference between having community and having a community that does communal living. When community now means giving up what I considered my personal space it brings a whole new set of challenges. Figuring out how to operate in a Christlike manner communally is something I have got to figure out though if I am going to live on a team with five strangers next year. Having Eddie, Emilie, and Abi down there though has been a huge blessing. I hadn't realized how much I had cut myself off from my community until they all started showing up and I wanted to push them away. I no longer wanted to be transparent or share life honestly with them and that was a pretty fruitless place to be in life honestly. So I guess all of the stress and confusion of reentering my community is God trying to bring me back to a Truth I had pushed away. He has exposed the shallowness I had allowed in my relationships with the people He has given me to love and when I see that sin exposed I cannot help but strive towards eliminating it no matter how ugly the process is. Our good friend Peter and Eric are moving in as I type and it is just incredible to see the little community of close friends God is placing in our greater community at God's Resort. I know these next few months we will see something incredible if we are sensitive to His spirit and continue to strive after His teachings. We can use your prayers for our community that we will trust and love each other to the fullest capacity we can each day.

Community vs Communal living...

2008-03-26T13:17:00.000-05:00

...we dont have it all figured out.

Mentoring

2008-03-18T18:35:00.006-05:00

There are a lot of young teens at God's Resort. Only one of them is a guy, the rest are girls. They are 12 years old and as we all know, that is a very hard age.

One of the goals that we had when Katie and I moved to God's Resort was to start meeting once a week to talk and hang out with the "older girls"

We started in the fall, and i can admit that I didn't do such a great job at it, Ashley and I would meet about once a month. Katie did an amazing job meeting with Dominique, they would hang out once a week, eat together and just talk. It was such an amazing experience for them.

At the beginning of this spring semester Katie called me out on my lack of commitment to meeting with Ashley. So this semester we have been able to meet once a week. We usually go to Starbucks (Ashley usually orders a mocha frapuccino, which she used to call a moco frape) and talk for about an hour.

At first we would pick a random topic, on the spot and read what the Bible had to say about it. For Valentine's day I got her a year long devotional book. This has helped a lot because we read the devotional together, and then talk about the topic. This has been great. (especially when Ashley reads real loud about purity, sex and boys and the people around us give me a knowing look)

The "younger" kids have gotten jealous of the little extra time that the older girls get. E came up to Katie and I one day and told us that she had a proposal (her words not ours). Her proposal was that since Katie and I had extra time with the older girls, we should find time to spend some extra time and do fun stuff with the younger kids; and declared herself Katie's "partner" (which is the word that the young kids use for the mentor- mentee relationship) and that I was to be the other kids. She didn't really want an immediate answer, she wanted us to think about it, and then asked us every time she saw us what we thought of her proposal.

This is the amazon link to the devotional book Ashley got. Its a simple book, but very straight foward and to the point: Designer Genes Devo Book.

Lots to come!

2008-03-14T16:26:00.003-05:00

So march is here, and we have been busy busy busy

spring break staring this week, Katie and Abi will be heading to New Orleans to serve with the College Age from College Heights.
Those of us staying are hoping to hang out with the kids since they wont have school.

at the end of the month College Heights has its "week of service"
their goal: to get the backyard ready for summer. with an area that the kids can play in that is safe.

Then, April... i cant even think that far ahead.

Finally the sun came out!

2008-03-07T16:43:00.004-06:00

The sun finally came out last Friday after what has felt like weeks, even months of gray skys and cold. We grabbed our soccer ball and the kids and headed for the empty parking lot across from our house for a little fun and in the end a lot of pictures. Here are some great shots of the kids and our extended family here at God's Resort:

Where did February go?

2008-03-05T16:00:00.005-06:00

It feels like last month literally blew by. Life was so busy that it was hard to stop and think about anything that was happening. I got accepted to Mission Year, an inner city ministry program, and will be moving in August somewhere unknown to me at this point. We obviously had our fun fiesta for Valentine's Day. We got a new roommate Abi, so now there are three of us. Eddie and Emilie, two our dearest friends, moved in next door to us. We went to Texas to a homeless outreach center to serve the homeless, but more likely we were the ones served. Here's a few pictures from that:

I am getting ready now for Spring Break during which I will be going to New Orleans with the College Age to rebuild houses. I am so excited for this trip. I am actually hoping to visit a Mission Year team while I am down there, but we'll see.

Things at God's Resort are going really well. The neighborhood has come alive with the warmer weather we have had off and on the last couple of weeks. We have had so much fun playing with the kids outside and getting to talk to people more. Winter is so hard because no one comes out of their homes. The kids have been coming over for homework help a lot more which is good because a lot of them have not been doing so well as we thought they were. Ashley and Dominique had a big social studies project and both of them did really well (A's)!!! There are a bunch of new tenants to get to know as well. It really just feels like having a huge extended family all around us. We have moved into the new auditorium at College Heights and it has completely changed our Sunday mornings, but so far we have really enjoyed all the changes. It just seems like lots of new things are going on and everyone is on one wild ride I guess.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-15T16:34:00.001-06:00

So for Valentine's Day we had 19 kids, 4 adults, two tables, and 76 cookies to decorate. Here's what we got:

six months and a few weeks later.

2008-02-13T12:08:00.005-06:00

Its taken me a while to process thru ( which is something we do A LOT down at God's Resort)the changes that i feel i have gone thru since moving to God's Resort. Katie posted a while back, and i do agree with what she said the changes in me have been.

In a way, im not sure "change" is the right word. I would maybe use "grow" or "mature". All i know is that i am happy, im closer to Jesus every day, and i love were i am. Sure there are some "hard" physical situations, with the slow return of the roaches and the constant need for repair in the house. But my walk with Christ is stronger and closer.

My number one big change or realization that i have gone thru is realizing that i dont need to know my future plans. When people realize that im close to getting done with college, they ask me what i plan to do. and every time i kind of give a half hearted responce of "ohh i dont know". but the truth is, I AM DOING what i want to do with my life.

As a culture, we tend to think that when we get done with a certain thing, then we can do what we always wanted, or we can start living for the Lord, or we can have our perfect life. In our minds we say: When i get done with college ill know what i want to do with the rest of my life. or when i get married ill know, or when i have kids, or when i get a house, or when i join a ministry, or when my kids grow up, or when i get a better car, or when, etc. and we never live in the present.

And if we lived in the present we would invest our time and energy into what we are already doing. We could commit ourselfes.

Im living ministry. something that not all people can do or are even called to do. There are a lot of people who "do" ministry, but there are only a few who "live" minsitry. There is a difference between doing ministry and living ministry. The biggest one that comes to mind for me is that when you "do" ministry, it means that at the end of the day you get to go home and continue living completely seperate from your ministry.

Living at God's Resort, i have realized that "living"minsitry is something i want to do. For the rest of my life, i want to LIVE ministry. i dont want to go home at the end of the day and live completely seperate from the hurting world out there. I have realized that my career cant be the most important thing in my life. Living ministry is what i want to do with my life. I have plans for my future career (dont get me wrong, i realize the importance and need for me to be self sustainable in financial matters), but if this was all i focused on, i would probably go crazy.

My sister Erica has helped me realize a lot of this. That when we go to college, college is what our lives become, we focus completely on it. As freshman we live in the dorm, hang out with college age kids, our biggest dilema is what to do for fun. but school shouldnt be that we focus on our life on it should be our ministry, our walk with Christ, and school is something that helps us in these areas. So it is the same with our careers. Our work should be something that enables us to do ministry; and this is different for each person.

So how have i changed in the last six months?. for the most part, i have figured out what i want to do with the rest of my life. i want to live in the NOW. live in the present. (not totally forget about the future) but start living in a way that i do now the most that i can for Christ.

6 Months Later...

2008-02-04T09:41:00.000-06:00

February 1st marked our six month stay at God's Resort. I remember in September there being moments where we definitely didn't think we would make it this far, but we have and quite honestly I think we have been successful in more ways than one. We were hanging out with our mentor last Friday and discussing the ways that we have changed and the things we have learned and I think we surprised ourselves in just how long that list was. I think I can probably speak for both of us on the following things we have learned, but just in case Meg would put it differently here is my list of a few things I have learned:

1. Loving people you don't know can be really hard at first, but the longer you do it and the more unconditional you can make it, the easier it gets.
2. Patience is a virtue for a reason and things all go much more smoothly if you can practice a lot of it.
3. Finding a way to view others as God sees them helps with the above. Once you can see someone for who God has created them to be, without all of the baggage of the flesh and this world, they shine with a holy radiance that cannot help but make you love them.
4. Jesus is real and not only because I see Him alive in the scriptures, but because I see Him alive in our neighborhood. The same stories that we hear of His life on earth are still totally applicable to our world today no matter how different it may look. We just need to be creative enough to see the application for them.
5. Truth may be my foundation to stand upon, but faith and hope are what keep me clinging to it when things get rough.
6. Community is vital to not only a Christian’s growth, but their survival as well. At one point for me that community was a group of peers that challenged me as we grew together, now my community is my neighborhood and even though they may not be well-educated or look like the world wants them to, they have taught me just as much if not more about what it means to be a Christian that is totally reliant on God and completely enthralled with Jesus than the Church or my peers.

How have I changed/what have I learned about myself:

1. I do not need breaks nearly as much as I have been taught I do or taken in the past.
2. I can be a very patient and flexible person with people in my neighborhood, but not so well with those I work alongside.
3. I love living in the middle of such chaotic life, even on the days I seem fed up with it, because no matter how tough it seems, it is more worthwhile and more exciting than any other life I have led.
4. I have finally begun to understand how to marry the Christian walk with what I have pursued in my education.
5. I am more controlled, less sarcastic, and feel in control. I have a newfound confidence in Christ and therefore do not lash out or feel insecure as much in my interactions with others.
6. Everyone needs to be able to process what is going on around them and when they can’t it is usually the start of a lot of life problems. Everyone processes things differently according to their walk and their role in the kingdom and that is okay as long as the outcome mimics Christ. Most of the time when my actions don’t mimic Christ it’s because I never processed them through a Christian frame to begin with.

For fun, how Megan has changed:

1. She has truly excelled at the work at God’s Resort and found her gifting in working with the kids, including crafts, teaching the kids everyday life skills, beautifying things in the neighborhood.
2. She has put herself out there with the families in a far more open way then she used to with our friends, putting herself in their homes and being real with them.
3. She has relaxed a lot about life and become more patient as well.

Well I just thought it would be fun to share some of these things. There are so many just random life lessons that we have learned, but there is not enough time for me to write them down nor do I kid myself in thinking you want to read them all.

Dead Cat Part Two

2008-01-28T15:56:00.000-06:00

As you will all remember, a couple of months ago I had a memorable moment one night on my front porch when my neighbor and I thought we had discovered a dead cat in the ceiling of our front porch. It of course turned out to be merely the fur hood of a winter coat stuffed in the crawl space above, but nontheless it has had me on guard unknowingly ever since. (See Another Unexpected Experience)

We have a crazy number of alley cats living in the alley next to our home. They grow exponentially and seem to survive thanks to a little old lady who drives down the alley a few mornings every week and dumps cat food to feed them. The whole in the side of our home (where I found the tray of baked beans last month) has become the welcome door for these cats to live under our home apparently. For the last few weeks, we have been suffering through nights of cats fighting beneath us and making all kinds of other unappreciated noises. They particularly liked to congregate underneath the floor of my bedroom and "yowl" all through the night. In an attempt to reestablish peaceful slumber my dad and I bought a board to cover the whole. Our friends Eddie and Vinnie came over to partake in the scaring of the cats out of our basement only to discover what appeared to be a suspicious orange furry thing draped over an air duct in our basement. Many of the air ducts had been pulled out and ripped up from the cats living under there and so I just assumed it was insulation from within the duct, but the more closely we looked the more we were unsure. Before my family left town, I finally caved and had my dad look in the basement to make sure once again that there were no dead cats anywhere in our home.

You may have guessed it already, but this time it was indeed a dead cat! Not only was the cat dead, but it was mummified, which means it has probably been dead under our house for at least the duration of our stay. I couldn't believe it! By the end of it all though we successfully removed the dead cat (okay so that was my dad), sealed up all entrances to the basement, and by last night enjoyed our first night of peaceful slumber in quite some time.

Change the world

2008-01-23T13:23:00.000-06:00

I have been doing a lot of reading recently. One of the reasons is because Katie has been able to purchase a bunch of books on poverty and social justice.
My most recent book read from cover to cover is the book "everybody wants to change the world. practical ideas for social justice" by Tony Campolo and Gordon Aeschliman.
The books format is one that i love. very much linear and organized. Each chapter is a different area of life in which they explain the need for social justice, and then offer tangible ideas for individuals and groups to try and do.
The chapter that most got my attention was section 3. it talks about the environment. The reason i this chapter got my attention is because of the way they explain WHY! we need to care for our environment.
I will try and keep it short on my quoting from books.

" All of Creation is the personal handiwork of the same God who was viciously strung up on a piece of wood.
Yet it is curious how many Christians do not seem to care about being good stewards of God's creation... People who love Jesus should no more destroy the environment that rip to shreds the carefully painted canvas of a best friend. it is nothing but pure blasphemy to disrespect the creative work of God.
When we care for the environment, we show our deep respect for the Creator in much the same way we would admire the work of a great artist in a museum.... When we care about God's handiwork, we demonstrate our love for God. and that speaks volumes to the world.
There is nothing suspicious about loving the environment, but there is something awfully suspicious and wrong about trampling it. Doesn't it make sense that those who personally love the Creator would be the ones to take a personal interest in His handiwork?"

in the book they go on to give some ideas of how to live greener and how to create more beauty from God's creation. Environmental issues are always issues that are talked about. But for some reason it hit home with me when love for creation was equaled with love for God. Maybe because i am realizing that my love for God needs to be expressed in more ways than just singing in church on Sunday morning. Because my love for God is so overwhelming in me at this time, that my mediocre acts of worship that i have done in the past are no longer enough to satisfy this feeling inside me.
In the old testament, King David got so "into" worship that he danced in his skinnies in front of the people of Israel. This is how i feel, and while i am not brave enough to dance in my undies in front of others, i want more of my life to reflect the love that i have for my God and my Saviour.
So me taking an active interest in the environment can be considered my dance and worship to the Lord.

Being Aware

2008-01-23T11:39:00.000-06:00

This conflict in the Congo has been going on since 1998, but only recently has really started to get media attention. Instead of tiny blurbs on pg. 11 it finally is making front page news. It scares me though to think that all of the rallying around an issue can attract such attention like say Sudan two years ago and yet you hear little mention of Sudan today and not because it is at peace. I am so tired of world issues becoming the latest hot topic for discussion and then dying out after six months with no actual fruit. I mean I can't tell you the last time I actually really did something tangibly helpful for Sudan or the Congo, but why not start now? Is raising awareness really enough? Is that really causing any kind of change in our government's policies with the nation or the way that their government is approaching the conflict? I want change and they desperately need it. Here is a video website for an introduction to the history of the Congo conflict. Take a look, react, see what difference could be made.

You say you want a revolution?

2008-01-22T15:35:00.000-06:00

Everyone who reads the Irresistible Revolution tells me it changed their life. After a while I got tired of hearing that response. I mean I'm glad it apparently changed their life, but it's kind of like when people come back from a trip out of the country or a missions trip and you as them how it was and all you get back is "it was amazing" or "it was life-changing". I have no doubt that they fully believe that this book has changed their life, but why this book and why not the many chapters of the Bible that I know they also are reading simultaneously. So I just started asking the dreaded question no one wants to answer. "Why?" Why has this seemingly simple book about some guy in Philadelphia changed so many people's lives and the next question is always "How?". About half the time the people stare blankly back at me, not having expected to have to explain why this book had such an impact on them. It gets them thinking though, almost all of them have come back later and said, "so when you asked me "Why and how?" the other day I was shocked, but now that I have thought about it here is how." I have loved the responses I have gotten back. They range anywhere from a simple change of financial responsibility to people like Eddie and Emilie deciding to up and move down here to God's Resort with us. I have decided that the reason this book has had such an impact on our group is found in 2 reasons:

1. It is the life story of one Christian guy selling out to Jesus instead of the world and actually living radically in our world. There are not a lot of wholesome people out there who when being radical are safe to follow, but this guy is one example of how you really can living radically different from the world in a way that shuns everything that Jesus would hate, but embraces all of his teachings as well.

2. It gives us the excuse to do it. Most of us are at a point in life where the world is calling and we have the choice to start down an upward mobility path or a downward mobility path and this guy gives us the excuse to go a way radically different from the world that most of us were just waiting to find an excuse for. It's hard to be just starting out with little financial stability or clout in the world and say "I am going to reject the norm and go for something that may leave me with no money and no worldly success because it really is where I want to be more than anywhere else.”

I am so excited to keep talking to people about this book, merely because it has caused so many people to think about what it means to follow Jesus in a world so drastically different then that of the disciples in Acts.

On a different note, I just finished reading the book Kingdom Works by Bart Campolo. It is basically a collection of thirty stories from Mission Year, the program I am applying to for next year. I had a lot of fun reading it because honestly a lot of the stories about teams in the field sound like the stories Megan and I tell in this blog. It is always comforting for us to read similar accounts and know we at least are experiencing the same setbacks and challenges, and every once in a while successes, as other inner city neighbors. I love Bart Campolo’s outlook on Christianity and his passion for telling it like it is. It sometimes makes people uncomfortable, but hey so did Jesus.

A few photos from the weekend.

2008-01-21T12:45:00.000-06:00

This Christmas i received a very generous gift from my parents: a digital camera. in the past i always borrowed theirs. ever since then i have been taking pictures every chance i get. So have Brenda and Eternity, both of whom can never seem to take enough pictures of the ceiling, and also of people when when they are not looking.

This weekend was a pretty typical weekend for Katie and myself. Cleaning on Saturday, hanging out with friends and the community from God's resort and Church.

Saturday
Cleaning in the morning.

A pile of extra "stuff" that we dont need or use. We are hoping to have a fun-raiser garage sale to denefit God's Resort. There are many of us out there with too much "stuff" that fills corners of our homes, and some times entire rooms. Im exited because other college students are thinking of donating their "stuff" as well. It amazes me how fast i have acumulated junk. Katie and i just moved to God's Resort in August, and since then we have managed to fill up our extra little room (the office) with extra stuff that we dont use or dont have anyother place to put it.

So we managed to empty the office, in preparation for our new roommate (Abby Lang). She will be joining us sometime in February. With the office empty, Katie helped me move my bed (it only took two tries to get it in the room) and dresser into the office, and Abby will be taking my room. I have slept in my new room two nights and i really like it, its quiet and cozy. I will post pictures of the room with my bed in it some time, i need to clean and make it presentable first.

Katie's big project for the weekend was some much needed maintance. First she put a lock on the basement door. Because there is a whole in the foundation under Abby's rooms (which alley cats like to get into the basement thru) we sometimes get nervouse that a person would manage to get in some day. So now the door is locked.
She also managed to get this fire extinguesher up. A much needed commodity in our home, as both of us tend to do some crazy cooking. I have set of the fire alarm once, because i was frying some ham and my sister Erica called, i lost track of time, and the ham started to burn and smoked up a lot. The great thing is that the whole time Katie had been standing right next to the pan, and i dont know what she was thinking about, but she didnt notice. After that happened, we decided to go to Wendy's for lunch. When we got back home i noticed a smell, i first assumed that it was still the burnt ham, but the stove top felt warm. I opened the over door. And there it was, a very tosted piece of bread that Katie had been warming before we left for Wendy's, and with all the commontion, she forgot about it. opps.

Just as we finished cleaning. Karen, Brenda, Sergio, Ashley and Chase came over for a little bit. Katie pulled out a safari game that Anna gave to us a while back. The kids love it. especially Chase and Brenda.

Sunday

Sunday morning Katie took Karen and Brenda to church. Here they are mooching food from the college age ministry fair. as an added note, they are sitting in front of the new sactuary at College Heights.

At church we ran into Sergio and Antonio. I dont know how they got to church, but they did. They were also mooching food from the college age. Sergio helped me hand out some of the college age updates.

On my way out of the church parking lot i found out how the boys got to church. This family came by God's Resort to pick them up. Brenda and I managed to catch of picture of them as they prepared to go home. I love it when people get involved, when they get to know the people from God's Resort, especially these boys, any investment into their lives is especially vital at this time.

After church katie and i went to lunch. fun times with friends. Jeanine and Katie sometimes get a little silly during dessert

At the home group at God's Resort we celebrated Savannah's birthday. Savannah and her family are some of the newest additions to the God's Resort Community. She turned 5.

She got a crown and staff for her birthday. She really is a little princess

The orange thing she is holding is a crayon holder i made for her. I have tried to "hand make" something for each kid for their birthdays and for Christmas. I think its more special.

Ashley and Dominique eating dinner at the home group. Each week a group of people cook delicious food for everyone that come to the home group.

Even little picky Brenda likes the homemade food the is shared during dinner.

Josh eating at the kids table.

Also Timmy came by and visited for a while. Since monday the guys didnt have school they were allowed to go to Kate and Timmy's to play a game of Settlers of Catan. We played six people: Josh, Timmy, Sergio, Antonio, Jeanine and myself. To our amazement young Sergio won. I must also say that i think hes addicted, but then, we are all kind of addicted to Settlers.

Irresistible Revolution

2008-01-18T16:40:00.000-06:00

Yes! I admit it. I, like everyone else have been reading the book "irrresistible revolution". It has been going around a lot recently. This book is a mix between the author sharing stories of his life, that make living as a crazy Christian seem a lot more radical but also do-able. So here goes a quote from Chapter five "Another way of doing life"

"if you ask most people what Christians believe, they can tell you, 'Chrsitians believe that Jesus is God's son and that Jesus rose from the dead.' But if you ask the average person how CHristians live, they are struck silent. We have not shown the world another way of doing life. Christians pretty much live like everybody elsel; they just sprinkle a little Jesus in along the way. And doctrine is not very attractive, even if its true. Few people are interested in a religion that has nothing to say to the world and offers them only life after death, when what people are really wondering is whether there is life before death.

As my teacher Tony Campolo used to ask 'Even if there were no heaven and there were no hell, would you still follow Jesus? Would you follow him for the life, joy, and fulfillment he gives you right now' I am more and more convicned each day that i would. dont get me wrong. im exited about the afterlife. we are going to party like there's no tomorrow (umm, and there won't be). and yet i am convinced that Jesus came not just to prepare us to die but to teach us how to live. Otherwise, much of Jesus' wisdom would prove quiete unnecessary for the afterlife. After all, how hard could it be to love our enemies in heaven? and the kingdom that Jesus speaks so much about is not just something we hope for after we die but is something we are in incarnate now. Jesus says the kingdom is 'within us' 'among us' 'at hand' and we are to pray that it comes 'on earth as it is in heaven'. no wonder the early Christian church was know as the way. it was a way of life that stood in glaring contrast to the world. what gave the early Christians integrity was the fact that they could denounce the empire and in the same breath say 'and we have another way of living. if you are tired of what the empire has to offer, we invite you into the way' even the pagan emperor Julian confessed 'the godless Galileans feed our poor in addition to their own'. the way has little cells multiplying all over that ole empire. of course, everyone was forewarned that in this kingdom everthing is backward and upside-down - the last are first and the first are last. the poor are blessed and the mighty are cast from their thrones. and yet people were attracted to it. they were ready for something different from what the empire had to offer.

coming out of college, my friends and i were pretty unwilling to 'conform to the pattern of this world' as the Scriptures say (rom 12:2) we knew all to well that there is a broad way that leads to death and that most peopple would take it, but we also knew that there is a narrow way that leads to life, and we wanted to find it (mayy 7: 13-14)....

... an expreriment in truth

my friends and i had a hunch that there ismore to life than what we had been told to pursue. we knew that the world cannot affor the American dream and that the good news is that there is another dream. we looked to the early church and to the Scriptured and to the poor to find it.

When Dorothy Day recalls the beginning of the Catholic Worker movement, she says very unassumingly 'we were just there talking and it happened....'

My most favorite part of this chapter is on page 120.

"one, there was a small group of kids who decided to go to a park in the middle of the city, and dance and play, laugh and twirl. as they played in the park, they thought that maybe another child would pass by and see them. maybe that child woudl think it looked fun and even decide to join them. then maybe another one would. then maybe a businessman would hear them from his skyscraper. maybe he would look out the window. maybe he would see them playing and lay down his papers and come down. then maybe another businessman woud walk by, a nistalgic man, and he would take off his tie and toss aside his briefcase and dance and play. maybe the while city would join the dance. maybe even the world. maybe...regardless, they decided to enjoy the dance.

We went to the ghetto. We narowed our vision to this: Love God, Love people and follow Jesus (which is similar to Mission Years vision: Love God, Love People, nothing else matters)
We had no idea what we were getting into. We had no big vision for programs or community development. We wanted only to be passionate lovers of God and people and to take the gospel way of life seriously. Some of us dropped out of school; some finished. Some of us were pursuing careers; others left them.
Since those early days we've made plenty of mistakes and have never learned the secret to not hurting each other. we have begun asking new questions and have challenged each other to risk more. Some of the faces have changed, some of us are still here. Now some of us are married and some have chosen singleness, and some have kids. We recognize each of these choices as a gift. we have created some healthy structures and rhythms of our communal life...

The next sections is entitled "Shouting the Gospel with our lives" I encourage all of you to read this book and get an image of what the Christian life could be like. Get encouraged by hearing about someone who has been able to do amazing things for Christ and hes just a normal guy.

Im still not done with the book. By no means is this book perfect. There are certain things I dont like. I was talking to Katie and i told her that i felt like it was a mix between an autobiography, and an evangelism/christian living book. and thats ok. And now as i look on the back, it actually is categorized as Christian Living/ Spiritual Growth/ General by Zondervan the publisher.

My next books on my list to read are
Everybody wants to Change the world (practical ideas for Social Justice by Tony Campolo and Gordon Aeschliman. Ive already read some parts of it, and he got me real exited about the environment.
and The treasure principle by Randy Alcorn. I got it at Roy Weece's funeral. I never got the privaledge to meet him. But i went to his funeral with the college age staff. This testimony makes me think a lot about my finances and the amazing things God can do when we let go of the purse strings.

Perseverance

2008-01-08T16:33:00.000-06:00

Some weeks are easier than others, but this one particularly hit hard. Starting last wednesday it has just felt like the bottom dropped out of life and I am falling out of control. I feel like I am desperately clinging to Christ to hold me up, but there is just an overwhelming oppression right now. At the same time though there are amazing moments of pure joy that I know can only come from Christ. My friends John and Becca were married this past Saturday in a beautiful wedding. I spent all of Sunday with the kids at home and that was joyous even in the middle of chaos. I have been around community more than usual soaking in the love of friends.

Our neighborhood needs your prayer, anyone out there reading this. There is actually nightly prayer going on all of January at 7 pm. People are moving, others are coming back, one family is in the middle of a terrible crisis, and others are just trying to make it one day after another. We need the prayer. I see Christ in my neighbors though. Staring back at me out of the tired and weeping eyes, is a Savior who dwells in the inhabitants of our neighborhood and He will make His presence known. Is it possible to feel joyous sorrow? It seems like such a contradiction but we as Christians are called to rejoice in our persecution and I think this may be the first time I truly have felt that. Even though my heart hurts so badly for what is going on right now, I have confidence in my Redeemer and know His love.

Learning to be adults

2008-01-03T00:09:00.000-06:00

"Katie and I aren't exactly the oldest of people. We are both 22, Katie just graduated from college this last May. I am still attending Missouri Southern. There are certain "grown up" things that we have had to learn these last few months. Things like renters insurance (or the lack off), and trying to get accepted for some.
We don't always know what to do, and in those times that we get advice we are really very grateful. Sometimes other peoples advice doesn't really work, or even sound like its going to work. Living there, in the middle of the mess, makes you look at the circumstance completely differently. If we got to go home, across town, at the end of the day, we wouldn't always do things the way we do now."

I started this post on Wednesday night after i got off of work. I never got to finish the post. Katie called me, and i ended up at the ER with a kid from God's Resort till almost 5am. Lack of sleep made me completely forget what i was writing about. But i didn't feel like i could just erase it all.

2008-01-02T08:38:00.000-06:00

I had a wake up call this morning as I drove to work this morning. I am confident today is the coldest day yet in what is shaping up to be a very cold winter in Joplin. It is currently 11 degrees outside with a windchill of zero. Our heat went out I am guessing New Year's eve because that was when we noticed it wasn't quite as warm as we were accustomed to in our house. We weren't home much yesterday until late evening when we realized it was really getting quite cold in our home. We checked the thermostat and it was falling below 65. We went to bed with it nearing 60 and when I woke up this morning it was below that mark. When I think of 57 degree weather I really dont think of it as being that cold but when you put that in a very drafty old house with 11 degree weather outside it is suddenly very very cold. I got ready and as I was heading to work I remembered a couple I met at the emergency shelter last January during last year's snow storm. They had come in to stay the night after sleeping in a field the night before. Temperatures had to have been in the teens that night and they were freezing and wet. Suddenly having a home, no matter, how cold it was became a lot rosier picture. I know that God is with those who are stuck out in this cold, but I pray that the area shelters have abundance to take these people in as the weather continues to stay so cold. I pray that these people would be on the minds of everyone in Joplin, Christian or not, and that the homeless would be clothed, fed, and sheltered.
This has been a particularly hard week for me and humanity. Maybe it was because over the break I had more access to CNN and the local news than usual, but continually report after report jsut cried out how mcuh the world needs our love. Not a distant love, but a love that penetrates homes. A love that pulls us into people's lives because we have no other desire but to be there with the weeping, with the hungry, with the joyful. I think sometimes it is hard to just be there for people in need, whatever that need may be. Often I don't feel like I know how to fix (because I don't) and therefore if I have nothing to offer them to ease their burden I should just pray someone who can ease it will come along. How foolish my heart can be! In the greatest empathy for someone's pain and in fear of not fixing it, I turn away? I don't think it is hard to imagine that even had Jesus not had the power to heal, He would have been there. It is precisely in those moments when we give up and just resolve to be with that person that we allow Christ to move in the situation and His glory really be known.
As the New Year starts, I wanted to make a resolution. I have never been one for resolutions, but as Megan also described in her post earlier, I have reached one of those breaking points where I either choose to follow the cross or I depart down a road that only leads me further from Him. I went through highschool and half of college very disenchanted with the church and have since been very cautious of becoming that way again, but sometimes there is a very real and godly reason. When you get so enchanted by the church that you forget to be enchanted by the Church and its Father, there is a very real reason to become disenchanted. The standard set by Christ far supercedes any standard held by a church and I have set my standards to the church's standards rather than Christ. Therefore my resolve is to spend this year consciously racing towards His standards. Learning as best I can to live of this world but not in it. I want to be radically different and not in a cheap, commercially radical sense, but in a way that shows a genuine concern for Christ's concerns above the worlds. I know this is not a one year process but if I could have even on foot out of the world by the end of the year it would be one foot closer to Christ than where I am now and that is entirely worth the struggle. Please pray for me that I will find accountability and discipleship in this, but more importantly that I would dive into the word to discover what this means for myself from His words and His life. Happy New Year!

Setttled

2007-12-18T22:35:00.000-06:00

On Katie's last post there are random pictures of the house when we first moved in, things were in disarray and slight chaos. Now, things have settled. Its hard to believe that its only been a few months since we moved into the God's Resort Community.
As i look back, and see how it was then, and how things are now i see many advancements. Closer relationships with the kids we are working with, boundaries that work to balance our lives, open doors into the homes of the other people that live at God's Resort.

Ive been thinking a lot about plans for the summer. There seems to be infinite options as to what i could do with that chunk of time. I ask that you pray for me as i make decisions about not only summer, but this spring as well.
I feel an uprising in my heart, i feel a call to not be conformed were i am and take another leap, like the one that took Katie and myself to God's Resort. I don't feel a call to move, just a call to not get to settled and forget the many things that we are able to do in the Lord's Name, and for his Glory. A feeling like im too comfortable were i am and there are still people out in the world that live in circumstances that should never be. I am amazed at the call that Jesus gave us. Just when we think we have it figured out, and can turn it into a method, is when he tugs on our heart and call us to HIM. I am feeling that call, to return simply to HIM. My Lord.

Christmas is almost here. This last sunday we had the Christmas gathering at the community house. Its was a blessing. I am almost done with my small gifts for the kids, im exited, I have been working on them since Cincinnati.
I love this quote that Emilie G. left on facebook. I think its a pretty good description of what happened this last week:
"The most eloquent testimony to the reality of the resurrection is not an empty tomb or a well-orchestrated pageant on Easter Sunday but rather a group of people whose life together is so radically different, so completely changed from the way the world builds a community, that there can be no explanation other than that something decisive has happened in history." - Will Willimon

These are the days we'll remember all our lives...

2007-12-17T14:11:00.000-06:00

So this has been the craziest week ever. With the amazing ice storm that hit we were without power for 2 or 3 days at God's Resort. Our apartment is actually one of the only one's that didn't have gas heat and so we went to stay at the Udell's for what we thought would be a couple days. We were there for five. Long after the power was back on we, plus 20 of our other closest friends were having the best week ever for fellowship. It was Dena's last week and so the sending off was perfect. By Friday we were heading up to Kansas City to take Dena to the airport. After a night of window shopping, great BBQ and ice skating, we said goodbye to Dena at the airport and Megan and I (the only two left from the 15 who had gone up to KC) drove home through ice and snow in separate cars. We saw a tractor trailor wreck, another wreck, and to top it off a cow strolling down the median. We made it back safely though.

Here is the fun part of this post. After returning to our home after being gone a whole week, we still needed to clean out the refrigerator. It was fairly painless, outside of throwing away so much money in spoiled food. The interesting part came as I was piling the bags into the dumpster in our alley. I looked over to the side of our house and noticed that the cinder block that held the board that blocked the broken window leading to our basement was moved. The board was gone as well. Now I knew this wasn't good because we have this lady that drives down our alley weekly and feeds the strays in our neighborhood and I was guessing she had moved the block to let cats in to keep warm. So I walked over to block the entrance again and to my surprise I noticed something shoved in the window opening. You will not believe what it was! A catering tray full of baked beans. I kid you not. I cannot begin to describe the mix of emotions that rant hrough my mind at this point. I was laughing hysterically at the absurdity of it, worried that there were no telling how many animals under our house, and honestly a little ticked that someone had the audacity to stick a giant tray of beans in our basement! So I went inside hoping that would relieve some of the stench that was in our home after we had returned and knowing that the rest was probably cat poop in our basement. Now in the process of moving towards the basement a number of noises and events led my mind to begin wondering like it is sometimes prone to do until I had mustered up enough fear of what might be in our basement that I rushed back outside and called Megan. She was driving around the corner when I called so I recounted the story and we called the boys. In her defense Megan really could not believe anything but a cat was in our basement, but believe me if you had been there you would have been wondering too. So what do we do? We call boys to come look in our basement for us. Of course no one answered so I grabbed a broom and readied by the door as Megan swung it open. Now you know those scenes in the movies where they expect a giant monster and a tiny mouse comes scurrying out, this was one of those moments. We swing open the door, ready the broom, and there staring back at us with big black eyes is a tiny cat, not kitten, but a very small cat who looks at us and meows before slinking off under the house. At this point I get (deservingly) the most hilarious look from Megan who cannot believe what just happened and will probably never let me live it down. This story of course has now spread throughout our entire friend group and my name is now tarnished forever. :) I may at this rate have no shred of diginity left by the end of our time at God's Resort.

Christmas at God's Resort

2007-12-17T13:59:00.000-06:00

I took some kids to Petland to play with puppies and we had a blast!

Karen finally got to ride in her limo to the school pizza party!

After decorating the house with lights, the Christmas parade came just up the street from us so of course we had to go catch candy!

We took the kids to burger king and the Christmas play at MSSU. They got to meet the cast afterwards and get autographs.

Jarred awake from peaceful slumber...

2007-11-30T10:03:00.000-06:00

Last night I was very rudely kept up by the passing train a block away from our home, but as I waited for the rumbling to pass it was suddenly joined by a cacophony of sirens. Now this is not an abnormal noise to hear downtown, but these sirens grew strangely louder until they stopped in what seemed to be a location right outside our home. I jumped out of bed to go see if this was the case and sure enough the windows were illuminated by the twirling of red lights. Megan had just gotten home and the two of us walked down the street and around the corner to discover 3 police cars, 2 fire trucks, an ambulance and a fire suburban. Workers were everywhere around the smallest duplex in our little community, particularly firemen with axes. The whole neighborhood was suddenly alive, and it was 11:30 at night. A lady walked past and said it was leaves next to the house that had caught fire. It seemed like the situation was under control and as far as we could tell no real serious damage had occurred. We really have no idea the real story, but like I said it looked relatively insignificant. It was however another eventful experience in the neighborhood though.

On another note, God's Resort is opening a laundry room for residents which is just a really fantastic plan. I am completely psyched because I know how hard it is for the residents to get to a laundry mat and back and be able to afford the high cost of washing and drying clothes. This will be a great burden lifted for the families especially. Also my mentee Dominique is going to be moving back to God's Resort with her family, which is a complete blessing as well! I cannot wait to have them back. Unfortunately we may be losing a family at the same time, but we continue to pray that they will not leave.

Authentic Christianity

2007-11-21T09:09:00.000-06:00

I think this may have been the theme of my time at the National Missionary Convention this past week. Like Megan said, we drove up to Cincinnati with a lot of hope for an enlightening experience and came back honestly with a lot more. The trip went well, no major mishaps, an amazing group of young adults who bonded and shared in a very real and inviting nature, and a united fire to learn as much as we could from the convention and from each other. The convention was amazing. I went two years ago and could not have said the same thing. This time around I had a purpose though, a focused mind looking for where God was working and what role he was establishing for me in it all. I didn't come with a desire for the big picture, just the next step and I rejoiced when He gave me not only the next step, but a glimpse of the big picture as well.

We are doing well. Despite the confusion, mayhem, and often humiliating feeling of weakness, Megan and I are where we are supposed to be doing what God has called us to do. Can we do more? Did we learn how better to serve our neighbors? Yes! But we also learned that we are doing well. We have had a hard time understanding what exactly our role is in the neighborhood. With our financial constraints, lack of experience, and generally trial and error learning method, it has been hard to figure out what we can actually do in our neighborhood to really change anything. And that is what we want isn't it? Change? I think it is, but not necessarily the way we thought we needed to see it. It is easy to see the physical oppression of our neighborhood. Broken down housing full of roaches, leaky pipes, and bad heating systems, kids with little to eat, ratty clothing, and perpetually messy hygiene, and a community of people doing everything they can to survive, but at the same time not relying on each other at all to get there. We see the physical decay of our neighborhood, but what we also see is the spiritual side. Families are torn apart because they strive so desperately to meet material needs of survival that they never take time to love each other. Adults have been beaten down by the system so many times that they do not know how to get up. Addictions to everything from alcohol to drugs to sex to even television distract them from life and from God. God is crying out to our neighborhood and there is so much crammed into the peoples' lives that they cannot hear His voice. The urban neighborhood is so often times a concise picture of what God did not want for His people. This is why it is so important that people be there. Jesus would be here I am sure of it. So how do we change a neighborhood the way Jesus would have? He would not have come in blazing in glory shouting "I am here to save you all". He didn't then, He wouldn't now. One of the things we learned over and over again from the urban missionaries in Cincinnati is that those living in the inner city are looking for authentic people. They can see right through our cheery outreach programs that shuttle people through like a drive thru restaurant. Will they take the help? Of course, they are after all trying to survive and any help no matter how disingenuous is still help. So often we want to help, but not when it gets messy, not when it means actually touching people, or going into their homes. Therefore, what often needs to happen is slowing down and looking at the real needs. Anyone can feed the poor, clothe them, and shelter them; Christians, Muslims, Mormons, or Atheists. But only Christians, followers of Christ, can take what they have learned of Christ from the Word and their growth in Him and teach that to their neighbors. Does this mean we do not feed, clothe and shelter the poor? No, not at all because that is what Christ would have done, but it is important to remember what it is we as followers of Christ have to offer that others do not. We know how to love like Christ. We know how to take care of people like Christ. We can love in a genuine, unfailing manner that only Christ has shown us. We can care for people by touching them, working alongside them, suffering with them in only the way Christ was able to do. Will we stumble and screw up royally? Of course because we are not Christ, but if our goal as an individual should be to be like Christ, then shouldn't our goal in our ministry be to serve like Christ would? This means being where the people He wants to help are. Not everyone is called to live in the inner city, but everyone is called to serve where God is trying to move. I know without a doubt that God wants to redeem His people in the city and all He needs are His followers to be there. We as His followers are learning and growing daily in Him and how cool would it be for us to live along side those who do not know Christ and be real in our struggles and real in our growth? I think this would be the best opportunity to see real change happen in the world. When we are all gathered together in our suburban communities, college dorms, or ritzy apartment complexes our world becomes what is around us and we begin to reflect the cares of that world. The thing I love most about being in our neighborhood is you cannot escape the reality of how so many people are living and suffering. It is not just that street you speed up on to cut across town, it is my home and when my welfare becomes tied to its welfare not only does the little but growing bit of Christ in me come out, but all of the talents He has equipped me with to not only share His love, but take care of the physical needs as well.

These neighborhoods need change, but I really believe that will come in time once the focus shifts from us trying to help them, to us living alongside them, whether you physically live in a neighborhood or not. We must be real people to our neighbors. This first comes in being real with Christ and real with the body. We all have issues, problems, and worries; let us bear those together in Christ and in front of the world. I want people to see Christians for the real people they are with all their flaws, but also with the amazing hope we all have in an ever-loving God who showed the ultimate act of grace through His Son, Jesus, on the cross. That is what I believe authentic Christianity encompasses and I believe from my own personal testimony that this is the best way to see the world change for Christ.

Back from the Convetion

2007-11-19T12:18:00.000-06:00

The national missionary convention was this weekend. Katie and I got the oportunity to go. At first neither of us had plans to go, but just in the last three weeks we made arrangements to go. We left wednesday night and drove thru, and arrived at 7am in Cincinnati.
The convention was refreshing. There were a lot of workshops on InnerCity work and Urban work. It was encouraging to meet other people that are working in the same area of ministry that we are, people that have moved into lower income neighborhoods and been a light in those places. But the most encouraging thing of all is the fact that they have not only been doing it long term, they have been successfull in developing boundries, strategies, connections and credibility.
One of our favorite speakers this weekend was Bart Campolo he was encouraging and spoke with the honesty that i sometimes feel i could shout to those who see what is going on at God's Resort but arent doing anything.
I am sure that Katie will have a lot more to say on the subject. We will be waiting for her post soon.

Another Unexpected Experience

2007-11-08T11:39:00.000-06:00

Last night marked the beginning of a new adventure. My closet has been leaking a lot lately and I have decided that probably isn't a good thing and was planning to call Rob about it, but Megan and I both got a terrible head cold and have been rather out of commission the last couple of days.

I came home last night ready to just collapse into bed, but as I climbed the steps to our front porch I noticed it was unusually dirty. My line of sight moved from the porch to the window air unit to the ceiling of the front porch. There in our ceiling was a hole. How the hole had appeared there I have no idea, but there it was. A board had broken out of the ceiling, just snapped it appeared, while another hung from the ceiling. Through the remaining boards I could see fur poking through. You can imagine the many scenarios that were going through my head as to how this scene had occurred. I continued staring up into the space and quickly decided to run upstairs to get our neighbor Joe to come take a look. I asked Joe if he had heard any loud noises or crashes and he replied he had not, but that our other neighbor upstairs had come home quite intoxicated. We walked back downstairs and proceeded to contemplate what this furry subject in our ceiling could be. After retrieving a flashlight from the Luna's, we began to poke and prod our way around (or maybe that was just Joe) to see what we could discover about the ceiling. To our great relief we discovered our fury subject was not indeed a cat (alive or dead), but rather a winter coat with a ratty fur collard. I must say that my relief at this realization may have been equal to the day that I received an extension on my senior thesis. I had no idea what I was going to do if indeed the mysterious subject in our ceiling had turned out to be alive or worse dead. As we peered into the cracks with the new relief of knowing we were staring at a coat, the coat began to move. I kid you not we stared wide eyed and gawking as someone or something moved around on top of the coat and then retreated out of the ceiling again. If not for our discovery that the object was a coat, I may have died right then and there from shock, but luckily we just stifled our laughter and began to ponder the reasons behind this "hole" mess.

Rob is supposed to be finding someone to come check it out. While on teh phone he informed me that our other upstairs neighbor lets his cats live in there and in one instance Antonio and Abe went crawling through trying to retrieve the cat only to cave in part of the Luna's bedroom roof! We may never know the full story behind our ceiling experience, but it was quite the night.

2007-10-30T13:59:00.000-05:00

"Love of neighbor begins with the willingness to be inconvenienced. It means saying yes to God's right to direct people to us based on his objectives and their needs rather than our comfort or convenience."

I read this quote today as I was going through a book Mrs. Udell gave me on Randy White's ministry to inner-city Fresno. It's obviously a bigger city, but the same set-up. His family moved to the lowest income area of Fresno and a new life began. I read this quote and my stomach flipped. This isn't the first time I have been hit with this truth, but rather another reminder that will continue to keep me grounded. It is so hard to find a balance between finding rest and allowing yourself to be inconvenienced and uncomfortable. There is never a reprieve. If people aren't literally knocking at the door, you know you should be out visiting those you haven't seen recently. People always encourage self-sacrificing service while at the same time demanding an understanding of when to say no. I don't know that balance. I have fought and prayed and studied and still cannot find the mental balance to know when it is not being disobedient to say "I'm sorry but I cannot help you right now". This is usually when people say to delegate but the mere act of delegating the responsibility usually takes so much time to find someone willing to be inconvenienced that you either give up and do it yourself or have run out of rest time by the time you do find someone else and must move on to the next thing of the day.

I love the noise of our neighborhood. When it is quiet, it is almost eerie. You can hear everything going on in every home practically from different points in our home. It's an incredible prayer guide, but more than that it is an intense revelation of the beauty that is Christ. How He works in and through our neighborhood comes out in the soundtrack of the streets and homes and lives that compose God's Resort. The moments He gives of quiet rest though are cherished. The moments where you come home and just need a break to regroup and clear your mind to focus on God and He grants those moments.

I love our neighborhood. I love the inconvenience of it all; how it breaks through and shatters the structured, minute by minute plans of everyday americans. You cannot live too organized, too rigid, or it will wear you down quicker than anything known to man I believe. You have to leave your life wide open to be filled by His appointments, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Whether it be tying a shoe, fixing a light, or talking about serious issues, all are important in His eyes. All of these things are vital to His kingdom work. Like the Samaritan that stopped to help, we must be willing to stop. We must be willing to live in a way that stopping is allowed, encouraged, and looked forward to. We have, even in our service oriented Christian lives, bought into the need for security amid structure. Stepping outside of that security requires a step of faith that really reveals how much we are willing to trust God with. What I am beginning to realize though is it is not necessarily one big step, but rather thousands of tiny steps away from what society deems the way to live your life, and how God has called us to live our lives.

The weekend.

2007-10-29T12:59:00.000-05:00

This weekend was quite busy for me. Not to mention the fact that i was also coming off of a very busy week. School has caught up with me and as fun as last weekend was at the retreat, it wasnt as restfull as i had desired it to be.

Friday was the international scream 2. Last year it was a lot of fun and we made some money. This year it was fun, but because the international club has grown so much and the members didn't have to pay, i don't think we actually made any money. But i had fun, and i know a lot of other people did as well. Friday morning I woke up and worked on Katie's costume and also on mine. I made a shirt thing with flowing sleeves for Katie, she had an old prom dress and the combination of the shirt and dress made her outfit as a elf from Lord of the Rings very nice. The best part of her outfit were the ears that she cut off of a satan mask and spray painted cream.
My out fit was an old bridesmaid dress turned into Cinderella. Its the dress from Sarah's wedding. I don't know if anyone remembers or knows her but we planned her wedding in a week. Yep! a week. That was back in the spring of 05 (and the dress still fit!) and to a lot of peoples amazement they are still married. The dress is a blue color so i figured Cinderella was a nice transformation. What i was most exited about was the chance to wear the silly dress again. For some reason you don't tend to re-wear the bridesmaid dresses. I have three of them, and this is the only one I've used again

Not the greatest picture, but its the best one Ive found so far. Katie is on the far left and I'm on the far right. Also next to me Jeanine is wearing the costume i made for last year. its nice to see it got a little more use out of it. Also in the picture is Kim Fish as a butterfly and Nicole as a cat.

Then on Saturday we carved pumpkins with the Kids from God's Resort. I have been trying to plan this activity for a while. Its hard to plan things on a Saturday because everyone is at work. But we still had a great time. I bought 10 pumpkins. And the kids had a blast carving them. There are pictures that other people took and i will post them if i get a copy of them. After the pumpkin carving Katie and I took the kids to watch a Ratatouille at the cheap theater. it wasn't as fun as i thought. With the kids not being able to sit that long, having to go to the bathroom and also catching little Brenda eating popcorn of the floor. I think we did a little over load for the younger kids. I might have been a better plan to just take the older kids. The little ones were to hungry and tired. Live and learn i guess.

Sunday was also quite busy. Because one of the girls that normally picks up the kids and takes them to church was out of town i stayed back to take the kids to church. I am so thankful for the few people that are faithful with taking the kids to church Sunday morning. i need to remember to thank them for it more often. I had 5 kids with me. Also there was no kids church so two of them had to sit with me at church. I remember how hard it is to sit through church when you are a little kid. its long, boring and you get tired of sitting. I do have to say that the kids did a great job of not being to noisy or distracting.

After Church Quade had a "thank you" lunch for all the people that helped out with the College Age Fall retreat we had last weekend. It was fun to sit and talk with friends and enjoy a meal together. After the lunch at Quades I headed of to Watered Gardens for the second annual Bless Fest. Again i had a car load of kids and they had a blast playing on the games and getting some food and freebies.

To finish off my Sunday i got the amazing blessing of babysitting for my sister. Little Ela and i had a lot of fun. We talked, read books, and played together. She is so cute, i love to make her laugh so hard that she chuckles. She is such a happy baby. Her mom and dad got to go watch a movie together. It was fun giving my time and get receiving so much joy and blessings from doing it.

Last week end in October, crazy busy. But i learned a lot. I was blessed and hopefully was able to give glory to Jesus; that is what makes everything worth while.

Absolutely no Recollection...

2007-10-25T14:00:00.000-05:00

I have virtually no recollection of the events mentioned below. I almost cried I was laughing so hard reading the story. I have a flash memory of something like this happening, but I still think it wasn't me lol. I remember thinking it was one of the kids, then thinking no its megan, then coming to the door and thinking "no it wasn't megan what am I doing", and then letting her in. I have no logic or reason when I am asleep...obviously. I am still laughing thinking about this.

So on a more logical note. God has really been running me through the wringer on things lately. Being in the word has really clarified what he has been trying to say to me, as well as seeking places where I can get an adult perspective on matters. It seems that with a willing heart, coming before the Lord has opened a well-spring of what He has been wanting to tell me. I just needed to really seek him in His place not my own. It looks like I will be in Joplin longer than I thought. I will be really honest and say that God is dealing with my heart on this matter pretty hardcore. There is such a stigma on college students staying in Joplin after school. It's like work here isn't good enough, but if you look around there are so many people who have made their lives here. I am trying to be okay with this idea. I don't in any way think that this is permanent. In fact, I am confident it is not, but for now God has called me to stay for an undetermined amount of time and asked my full committment without planning. It has pushed my faith and trust in his providance immeasurably. It has called me to lay down rights that I see others not having to lay down and desire to keep for myself. I know I cannot. Lonnie Holbrook spoke the other day at Colllege Age Retreat and said something to the effect of "if we do not commit to God fully and lay down our rights, He will not use us". This has echoed in my mind for days and though I am not sure if I am ready, I don't think I have a choice but to be. It is either obedience to a call to the unknown or direct disobedience. It isn't hard to figure out which you do. When Quade asked Lonnie how he did it, how he made the decision to just dive in, Lonnie asnwered 'I just did'. I really think that's the only answer you can have to God asking for it all. You either jump or you don't, you cannot go half way, you cannot reason it out logically, you jump in and trust that He will be there to catch you.

Locked

2007-10-25T13:27:00.000-05:00

out!
I work at the local Christian Radio station here in Joplin. Its called KOBC. I have been working there since i got to Joplin, so its been 4 years. I started out with an afternoon shift on their spanish programing. Then i moved to the dreaded weekend shifts. and now this semester im working the evening shifts (6pm to 12am) two nights a week.
normally when i come home Katie has already gone to bed hours before. She works early in the morning and therefore goes to sleep at a decent hour. So tuesday night i come up to the door in a very very good mood (especially considering how late it was and how tired it was) only to find that the screen door is locked from the inside. we have the lock there so that we can close the screen and open the door but people still cant just walk in. This strategy was great for the nice fall days that were cool and we saved some energy by not needing the AC.
Im standing out side our door with no way of getting in. So i think to my self, "now what?" I try calling Katie's cell phone hoping that she has it with her in her room. but as i stand out side i can hear it ring, and see it light up on the couch in the living room.
With no other option i go to the back of the house (which is quite dark and scary at night) and knock on Katie's window saying "Katie wake up! you locked me out" the reply i get is "huh?" so i repeat "its me Megan, you locked me out" and she then says "oh ok"
then nothing
so i stand there for a minute debating with myself as to wether she actually woke up enough to understand or if she was just answering in her sleep. i decide to go to the front door and wait. a few minutes later Katie opens the door and says "i dont know how that happened, i didnt do it". a coment to which i answer with "then who else is inside that could have locked the screen from the inside" and she replies "i dont know but it wasnt me".
in the end i walk to my room laughing and Katie is walking away to her room in a frustrated voice saying "i dont know what your laughing about it wasnt funny!"
ahh roommates. gotta lov'em!
and Katie if you read this and dont remember it. its ok.

¿Estamos contentos?

2007-10-08T09:04:00.000-05:00

Since I have no classes, I have been participating in the Honors Freshmen Forum class discussion board. It's a lot of fun to see the cognitive process of freshmen. They are still so fresh to the college scene and real world ideas that to pick their brains can be a very refreshing way to spend the day. One of them posted this weekend with the same subject line as this:¿Estamos contentos? She proceeded to note that there had to be a difference between the idea of being happy and being content. It reminded me a lot of this summer and how hard it was to become content when I really wasn't happy. I was so happy that the things that were going on at God's Resort were happening, but at the same time not content to be one of the people called to it. I wanted to be out; out of Joplin, out of the U.S., out of the norm. I went to Jamaica and that made me even more discontent with the growing assuredness that I was called to God's Resort. Then one day in Jamaica a friend shared some truth with me about his experience as a missionary in Mexico. He and his wife had gone through the same feelings of discontent and restlessness, and he reminded me that we are called to use the abilities and gifts God has given us, but He is the one who calls us where He needs us. Where He calls us to, we must be content in going. Because we love Him more than anything else, we are content to be where He places us. When I looked at it from that perspective suddenly everything seemed different. Coming back to Joplin, I made the choice to be content where God had me, first in Joplin, then at God's Resort. It was a struggle, but I can safely say I made it after a month or so. Being content though wasn't the same as being happy. So many things were happening and changing all at once that I can be very honest and say I wasn't very happy. I loved that so much good could come out of us being there, but was not very happy in my new lifestyle. It was uncomfortable, unknown, and unrelenting. Life was full of questions, feeling inadequate, mistake after mistake, and so many other new and difficult thigns to face that I didn't enjoy what I was so sure I should be doing anyway. This past week changed that though. This past week I felt a part of our neighborhood in a real and personal way. We were in the homes of families, talking to parents, teaching kids to dance, feeding them, and just loving them. We walked the neighborhood, went rollerblading, and shared even the boring parts of our lives with the kids. We met new people, saw success, and saw change. How could I experience all of that and not be happy? How could I be sitting here knowing how much God loves me and those He has entrusted me with and not rejoice? So I now choose to be happy.

I can't believe it's October!

2007-10-04T09:03:00.000-05:00

This past month has flown by it seems. So much has happened from backyard concerts to birthday parties to soccer games and PTO. My room is a wreck (and must be clean by Saturday fro Great Day of Service), but I feel settled in finally. It is a completely different kind of settled in than where I have lived before, but I think I feel at home. I am finally getting into as much of a routine as I can for the neighborhood we're in, where anything can happen. I love seeing the kids and miss them when they are not around. Like Meg said, we are starting a mentoring program for the four oldest girls right now and I am really excited about it. There are just so many things that we as older girls can teach them about life and Jesus.

Great Day of Service is this Saturday until 1:00 pm. The College Age is going to be down at God's Resort working on setting up for the grand finale, a giant block party! I am so excited, last year's was fantastic and this year it can only be better! Who knew a year ago when we were down there that in one little year we would be living there? Sometimes life throws you some awesome curve balls.

A new month

2007-10-02T19:03:00.000-05:00

First of all i cant believe that its october. september went by so fast.
Today is Ashley's Birtday. She turns 12. Last night we had a surprise get together to celebrate her birtday. Katie picked up Dominque and Tristal and i decorated some cupcakes i had baked earlier at my parents house (our oven doesnt work, and i love to bake *tear*) Needless to say she was surprised as we walked out with twelve faming cupcakes.
We forgot to get pictures, so we decided to do it over again and Katie took video, not as impressive as the firts time, but it will do (maybe Katie will find a way to uplead it for everyone *hint hint*)
Needless to say she loved it. Katie got her an amazing present on our behalf. A teen Bible. She was also able to get Ashley's name engraved on it.
Please continue to pray for the kids. They are growing up and facing new challenges.
Also we are starting mentoring with the older girls. We are still in need of a couple faithful and mature college girls to mentor.

An Appreciation for Silence

2007-09-25T16:40:00.000-05:00

I used to hate the silence. My idea of relaxing never involved being away from noise. I love big cities, big groups, loud music, and kids. None of these things lend themselves to quiet. In the last week though I have reached sound overload. I have no desire to be around people in general, no desire to talk, I am done. This isn't good, I know, and it too can be overcome, but I'm gonna try not rushing it. I need the silence. I need to have a break from constantly talking, listening, and analyzing. I want to hear God speak. Or maybe even just rest in His presence. That's all.

Update from 14th and Pearl

2007-09-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

So on an objective side, I figured I should write just some of the happenings and going ons down in the neighborhood.

Next Sunday evening is a big concert thrown by Calvary Baptist in our backyard! Great Day of Service for College Heights is going to end with a Block Party on our street as well in October.

We have started going to the home group at the Blue House and that has been really good so far. A lot of adults from the neighborhood come so we get to meet them. The church bought the Blue House and are now fixing the other half to make it all one big community house! One of the Sunday schools adopted some apartments and will be remodeling them. Unfortunately the remodeling of the blue house begins at aroudn 6:30 am every morning and therefore sleep is difficult in my part of the house.

The whole neighborhood seems to be on high stress mode lately. Two of the kids are verging on being out of control and I here them being reprimanded pretty much every morning now. There is something about the location of my room where I can hear almost every house on our corner if people are yelling. One of the kids is going through a rough time right now and really needs intense prayer. I was full of a lot more energy in the last week, but with some of the stuff going on, especially with the one girl, Satan has just sucked me dry emotionally and physically. This kind of goes back to Megan talking about trying to carry everyone's burdens instead of laying them at the cross, but I don't even realize I am doing it until I am just ready to collapse.

We are getting a new stove! Someone came by the other day, not even knowing ours didn't work and offered it! It's such a huge blessing and so unexpected. I honestly feel like God saw how much we wanted one, but we knew it wasn't necessary and He blessed us anyway. That's pretty cool.

I took three of the girls for a drive and we got to pet some horses which was really cool as well. They had never been around horses before and absolutely loved it.

Our hot water is back on, after a four day absence. Still no word on a heating system in our house yet, but other than that things are going pretty well.

Transparency Part II

2007-09-17T13:54:00.000-05:00

Something has been off in my relationship with Christ and I think I finally figured out what it is. This summer was an amazing time of growth for me and I came out of it a different person, but the last couple of weeks something has had me completely scattered. Randy Gariss always talks about how we cannot be those people who come on Sundays to get our fix and live off church for the rest of the week with no real continuing time with God. I hadn't thought that was me because, well first of all I am at the church all the time, but also because I have been really fighting for time and relationship with Christ. I was going through a study today and something jumped out at me from the text, "to live where I can listen is all He calls me too." I realized suddenly that I am seeking and seeking, but never slowing down enough to wait for a response. The text went further to say that we must be "weak enough to listen, but strong enough to wait."

I do not think this means I need to move from God's Resort, but it did make me realize that the way I spend my time does not allow time to actually commune with God and allow Him a chance to speak. It's no wonder I keep asking and getting no response. He is fighting and fighting to get through all I have put before Him. So, I'm going to try this week being a better listener. I think this may be part of the reason Meg and I have been so exhausted. We desperately are crying out for His strength and His help, but we won't stop long enough to really let Him be that for us.

transparent

2007-09-17T12:31:00.000-05:00

These last few weeks Katie and I have been feeling exhausted. The funny thing is that at the same time I feel like we aren't doing anything. I know we are doing stuff, we are working, I'm going to school, doing stuff with the college age, and stuff with the kids, not to mention hanging out with friends and family.
So at prayer meeting (Thursdays at the church) i was thinking about why we were so tired. And it hit me, we have been living at God's resort for over a month now, and the spiritual battles that go on around us are taking a tole on our bodies.
Jay said something the other day that really hit home for me. It was something along the ways of if we try and carry the burdens of everyone we come in contact with down at God's Resort we will always be totally exhausted, because we don't have the strength to, so what we need to do is carry the burdens to Christ, take them to Him and he will carry them. o how true these words are. as it says in Matt 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"
Let us rest in Him.

A Weekend Away

2007-09-04T16:09:00.000-05:00

I went to Dallas this weekend and saw a Goo Goo Dolls/Lifehouse concert. The concert was amazing, being in a city even more amazing, but what struck me most was how awkward it all felt in the end. We were staying in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Dallas right next to SMU and everything was so clean and just beautiful. Part of me had so much fun being there, and the other half couldn't wait to get out and get home. I just finished These Strange Ashes by Elisabeth Elliot and a quote I was reading on the way to Dallas fit so perfectly my thoughts the whole trip; it described the fight to establish standards in your living condition, to maintain some type of cleanliness, and yet how no matter what it seemed your standards were too poor for one world and too good for the other. How it feels like you are living between two worlds, unable to become a resident in either world, and feeling therefore never at home. I think sometimes I would rather be in another country trying to be a missionary. In no way do I think we have it harder, but we do face this really weird battle constantly that the world we are trying to fit into, but don't really, the world we are trying to reach, can be escaped so easily. All we have to do is get in our car and drive 10 minutes and we can be free of the messiness that is where we live. The chaos of hygiene, emotions, values, and safety can be pushed aside and replaced by a coffee from Starbucks. It makes immersion impossible, and finding a balance very difficult.

On a different note. The kids need prayer. They are in school with little familial support or understanding of the importance of education. They lie, constantly and without any reason. They aren't in trouble and yet still cannot be honest in their stories. They rat on each other all the time, even if its not true. There is this sense of survival that preceeds their relationships and if getting one kid in trouble for something he didn't do makes you move up in favor then its worth it. Therefore it's almost like you can never reward good behavior because it is so abused. Or maybe there is a way and we just don't know it yet. Either way, they really need the prayer. The idea of seeing these kids grow up to walk with Christ is the most beautiful picture I can cling to at this point. I know they have it in them. Specifically if you could pray for one family in which a lot of yelling takes place. I can only imagine the impact this has had on the kids in the household. I can hear it almost every morning out my window and it scares me so I cannot bear to think how the kids handle it. Please remember them as much as possible.

The Snowball Syndrome

2007-08-30T13:32:00.000-05:00

You know those old cartoons we watched as kids and how there was always that one episode where one of the characters goes sliding down a snow covered mountain and ends up a giant snowball? Life is so easily like that sometimes.

Sunday I was informed that Youth group was starting up at College Heights. I thought "hey that's cool the older kids will love that!". Then I was informed in front of the kids that all of them could attend. Suddenly I went from 5 kids to 13 that wanted to be at youth group every Wednesday. Still a very great idea, but not as easily managed as I thought it would be. Now I would have to find a van to transport them all in, someone to help corral them at the church, and most importantly get enough sleep Tuesday night to make it all the way through work from 8-5 and 13 kids till 9. Work was crazy this week and instead of letting Jay know what was up I just totally forgot about Wednesday until Wednesday hit, full on. Tuesday had been quite possibly the hardest day at work to date in four years in this office and so sleep was slight for that evening. I managed to get a van, but no help. Once again, probably could have been remedied, but after a while of people giving you the run around on being able to help or not you just stop wanting to call. That doesn't defeat the fact that I should have though. Because me not calling meant I ended up with 13 kids and a very tired me. I survived, but it was rough. They yelled the whole way there various forms of "he's touching me", "she looked at me", and "he started it" and then on the way back had to explain to three 7-8 year olds that flirting, kissing, or any other form of relational behavior between the three of them would not be tolerated. I was overwhelmed. I didn't even see it coming is the worst part. While I was there, people would ask if I was able to do this every week, help with some new idea for God's Resort, or some other completely unrelated activity. I can't and I won't I have decided.
I went to Randy's leadership class last night and he talked about three modes of leadership. I am tired of the Disneyland/funnel mode where all I am is personable all day and exhausted form activities at the end of it. I want to be relational, personal, and awake enough to be compassionate. That's why Megan and I moved down to God's Resort. Not to coordinate more activities, but to open the avenue to be more intentional in our relationships with the children and their families. We want to lead by example and by being around for the messy stuff, not constantly out running events. We want to live life with these families. So this means saying "no" to a lot of things people want us to say "yes" to. I hear that people say "no" all the time, and yet I still get a look of shock whenever I do. It's like the whole world might come crashing down on their heads, but honestly we live in the buckle of the bible belt here, if we can't find someone else to help we have more to be concerned about then the planning of another event.

Panic over nothing.

2007-08-29T18:55:00.000-05:00

A friend asked me recently how Katie and I were doing, and I told her that we were fine. She didn't believe me, and pressed the topic a little more. I told her that things are coming together, that bigger projects have gotten done, that some smaller projects are still in progress, and that we are getting some what used to living with roaches. But the one thing that worried me, and that in my mind would/could break me, was our first electric bill. Living in the apartments, our electric bill was very reasonable, but in our new house because of the size, height of the ceiling, and the fact that we run two window units constantly I didn't think our electric bill would be even close to what it was before.
Our first electric bill came yesterday, and Katie came home from work and opened it, she gave me a call. The amount she told me was almost twice as much as what we had last payed at the apartment, and it was only for like 20 days, not even the whole month. I preceded to worry and stress about how we were going to come up with the money. Once I got home from work, the first thing I did was go to the fridge and look at the bill. After stressing out about it for at least 4 hours, I really didn't want to even look at it. So as I looked it over it didn't make sense, the amount we were being charged for usage was not the same among as what we owed on the total. After looking at the bill for several minutes I was finally able to figure out that it was not just the amount for the 20 or so days we had lived at 14Th street, but also our previous bill, (which we had just payed that morning). So in reality we will only end up paying approximately $30 more than what we payed at the apartment. Now that is an amount we can deal with.
Lesson learned: don't stress over stuff you have no control over, and things aren't always as bad as they seem.

Realizing Reality

2007-08-28T15:51:00.000-05:00

Quade led me to the realization the other day that Meg and I are trying to understand the role of or become missionaries, adults, and mothers all at once. I feel like I am the worst of all three.

As far as being a missionary goes, nothing could have prepared me for the reality of culture shock. You can read books, talk to past workers, and even visit the area and people, but until you live right in the middle of said culture I have realized you cannot see the reality of it. Even now, living at God's Resort there is so much being thrown at us that it is almost impossible to process it all. Four years of studying the world, poverty, and culture could not prepare me for the reality of poverty right here in our backyard. What I read about poverty in Africa, Asia, or Latin America seems such a different world than the poverty Meg and I see out our windows. For now, much of the developing world is still facing absolute poverty. Basic essential needs are not being met due to deprivation. As the developing world sees the luxury and "essentials" of the developed world though, they shift into the idea of relative deprivation and suddenly basic necessities such as food, water, and shelter are no longer the primary focus for needs and transportation, entertainment, and commercial items become higher needs than those needed for basic survival. The idea that these commercial necessities are necessary comes from the social perception given by the developed world and often times societies seem to try and make the leap from absolute poverty to developed world luxury without filling in the necessary gaps to provide clean water, safe shelter, and nutritious food.
The longer we are at God's Resort the more certain I am that people cannot live in absolute poverty in the United States. The government has set up a system of relativity in measuring poverty, there is a continual onslaught of mass media telling people what material things are necessary for a happy life, they majority of which have no essential value in survival and have been made necessary only by social imprinting. The poor need only look one block over often times to see what they are lacking. Therefore the constant comparison of what one family has to what another does not creates an environment that breeds relative deprivation. I think the problem may be that those in generational poverty (the case for most of the families in our neighborhood) have never learned how to take care of basic necessities nor, I would dare say, have they learned to value those basic necessities. Without understanding the value of actual basic necessities, one can see where it would be very easy for a parent, or especially a child, to overlook nutritional food or hygiene in pursuit of fashionable clothing, entertainment, or popular junk food.

I remember going to school in the mornings back home and driving by houses that looked like they could fall in, but they had a satellite on the roof and new car parked outside in the driveway. I couldn’t understand how those things could take priority over safe housing, and honestly still cannot. It is one of the many things I am trying to process while living down at God’s Resort. I feel like maybe the answer lies in how society views status, but I may be wrong. So often it is how much you know about pop culture and what you present to the world in your dress and at your work that defines your status and quite possibly “worth” as a member of society. Therefore maybe satellite TV becomes the connection to pop culture and new cars and stylish clothing the mask to present a middle class status, when the internal workings of a person’s life are in shambles. I have seen it work. In all reality I think we have all made it work. Pretending to be something we are not, trying to jump classes. The middle class is ruled by these comforts, so why wouldn’t it make sense that the lower class would identify middle class status by these comforts, rather than the ability to provide security and nutrition. I have no answers. The only thing I have come to realize is that Christ led me by His example and therefore I will lead those around me by that example that He gave to me. I don’t have the first clue how to stop generational poverty, but I do know that God has called us to be obedient and available to his will. So that’s what Megan and I are trying to do, show up, listen, and see what happens.

The other tenant

2007-08-15T15:52:00.000-05:00

So I am the other tenant of 312 W. 14th St. It has indeed been a long journey gettting to God's Resort. One that for me started over six months ago when I first wanted to move here. The timing just wasn't right at that point. No one wanted to live there, the neighborhood was worse then it is now, and the church was still getting things organized. After eight months a lot of that has changed.

I came back from Jamaica ready to be content with where God had me, in Joplin, at the Royal Orleans, working. It had taken forever it seemed to get to that point of contentment and Jamaica had given it to me. Then God called Megan to move to God's Resort and finally I had my partner to finish his call in my life. So we did it. I had come up with every possible obstacle we might face in the eight months preceding this so I was not quite so assured as Megan. It wasn't logical, it wasn't conveniant, and it was exactly the kind of thing God does to bring glory to His kingdom. His timing I have decided is never our timing, sometimes we miss it by minutes, sometimes by months, some wait years, but it always comes if it is truly a desire given by God and we must be patient and faithful until he has set the way.
So we moved! The house was less then clean, but we cleaned it. We had no refrigerator, so we ate a lot of Taco Bell and were blessed by many loving friends. We had no air conditioning, so we stayed with many other loving friends for the first almost two weeks. The house is coming together though. Day by day it becomes home. Having the kids there is such a joy, even in the tough moments you just can't help but love them and be so joyful to have the opportunity to spend so much time investing into them. We are already seeing changes in them which is incredible!

Right now we are setting up boundaries and they are testing them. It is almost like animals when they get new cages and start testing for secret ways in and out or the weakest link. These kids have tried everything. They knock at all hours of the day and night, windows, doors, walls. They yell when knocking doesn't work and all the while you must be patient and kind and explain what correct etiquette might be for that situation. Curfew is 10:00, which to me seems late, but for these kids is early. They haven't quite figured out what curfew is yet I think, if the lights in the house are on they take it as an invite to knock. Neither Megan nor I are getting the greatest amount of rest, but we know its worth it.

Pictures of our new refrigerator

2007-08-15T15:47:00.000-05:00

So as Meg said we got our new refrigerator, but in order to get it into the house we had to take the doors off. It was quite the adventure!

we got a refrigirator

2007-08-10T13:39:00.000-05:00

So when we decided to move in, our landlord told us that he would forfeit the deposit so that we could use that money to buy a refrigerator for the house. he said that he stopped providing refrigerators because the tenants didn't care for them and they had to throw them out when the tenants moved.
so this whole time Katie and I have been with out a fridge. we didn't really have the money to buy one either. Some people from the church gave us enough to buy one, so Katie started looking and didn't really find anything with in our budget. I was shopping for a side table for Katie's room because i took hers and put it in the living room, and there is was, in a furniture store. with in our budged and we would even have some money left over.
And today it came home, it was quite an ordeal getting in through doorways and stuff, but thanks to our great friends and brothers we were able to get it in. Praise the Lord.
Thanks for your continued prayers.

frustrations and encouragement...

2007-08-07T22:07:00.000-05:00

there are many frustrations that come with moving. living in boxes for a while, cleaning, and just turning an empty house into a home. For Katie and myself there are a few added frustrations. we know that we are not moving into the best neighborhood, so there are certain precautions and dangers that we are aware of. Not to mention the bugs, and other little details that when added together can really be discouraging. but like scripture says: "if God is on our side, then who is against us?" my response always is, no one greater than God, that's for sure!
As Katie and I, along with our many great friends work hard at getting the house cleaned up there were a few days were i was more discouraged than i had been before. I was getting ready to give up and try and find a new place to live, but by God's great mercy and grace, encouragement came at the precise moment that I needed it. People came in and not only listened to our needs and frustrations but they embraced us and helped meet our needs. Only in God's family can this kind of encouragement and blessing be delivered. God is great, and when his people listen and obey, great things are done in His name.

Before...

2007-08-03T20:47:00.001-05:00

The house that we are moving into at God's Resort required a lot of work. Here are some of the before pictures.

This is the "reading room" we call it that because it has a big built in bookcase. Our plans are to turn half of it into the kids room. With a table and chairs were they can sit and work on homework or just hang out. and the other half will be just a comfy reading area.

This is the kitchen, during the move it was the central location for all of the supplies that we needed to make the house clean and livable. Thanks to Kyle for re-caulking the sink and an amazing thanks to Jaqui who cleaned out the kitchen and liberated it from (i kid you not) at least a hundred dead cockroaches and re-lined all of our cabinets.

This is the first mouse that we caught at the house. I decided not to name it because he passed away the next morning. Hopefully we won't see very many more of these little furry creatures or Katie may get her wish and we may end up getting a cat.

This is Katie hard at work cleaning her new closet. Frankly shes a little scared of it. She has nicknamed it: THE TORTURE CHAMBER. But now that Timmy came over and filled in some of the wholes were mice and cockroaches could come through shes feeling a lot better about it.

This is Eddie and Emilie Gonzalez. They came over to help. Eddie does a great job of entertaining the kids and Emilie helps out cleaning the carpet in the reading room.

My older sister Erica came by to see if she could help, she brought along her 2month old daughter Ela. Ela was a lot of help. The kids loved her, until she started crying. Thanks for visiting and helping out Erica and Ela.

The gang hanging out while I was sowing the curtains to cover the 21 windows in the house. From left to right we have: Brenda, Sergio, Jaqui, Karen, Starla and Eternity. They are great company, helping out when they can or just keeping us busy answering questions.

Moving to God's Resort

2007-08-01T18:34:00.000-05:00

I was driving back from a CIY (Christ In Youth) conference in Illinios when my roommate Katie called me. She had been in Jamaica for the last two weeks and had returned to our apartment while i was away. The reason she called was to tell me how frustrated she was that our apartment was infested with nasty cockroaches. She had come up with an idea to get rid of them: that we move all of our stuff to another apartment and have them spray down the one we where in, the move all of our stuff back. As apealing as this option sounded, i opted to say that if we were going to move all of our stuff; why didnt we just move to God's Resort?
Six months earlier to this proposition, Katie has said the same thing to me and three other girls that had wanted to live together to create a womens haven. A place where people that we met here in Joplin could go and have a place to live, shower, eat and rest for a while. Six months earlier i completely rejected the idea.
At CIY as young highschoolers were accepting Christ, rededicating their lives and deciding to go into vocational ministry; while Mark Moore was preaching about pain, isolation, community and that we where never meant to be alone. I asked the Lord to speak to me, and he did.
So this was how i found myself telling my roommate that we should move to God's Resort.
The night that i returned to Joplin, Katie and i talked about what i would mean to move to God's resort. The next monday we went to the neigborhood and then decided that if our current landlord would release us from our lease we would move.
So here we are now. Moved out of our apartment because we had to be out by the end of the month. Today is the first, the apartment is empty and we returned our keys. All of our belongings are at 312 Pearl St, where sheets are covering the windows, where i caught a mouse under a bucket, and where the basement is so scart we wont even go down there in the day.
But we wil be living in a place were we can make an influence in the lives of kids, were we can show adults how to love, where we can be a shining light reflecting the amazing love of our saviour Jesus Christ.