Absolutely no Recollection...

I have virtually no recollection of the events mentioned below. I almost cried I was laughing so hard reading the story. I have a flash memory of something like this happening, but I still think it wasn't me lol. I remember thinking it was one of the kids, then thinking no its megan, then coming to the door and thinking "no it wasn't megan what am I doing", and then letting her in. I have no logic or reason when I am asleep...obviously. I am still laughing thinking about this.

So on a more logical note. God has really been running me through the wringer on things lately. Being in the word has really clarified what he has been trying to say to me, as well as seeking places where I can get an adult perspective on matters. It seems that with a willing heart, coming before the Lord has opened a well-spring of what He has been wanting to tell me. I just needed to really seek him in His place not my own. It looks like I will be in Joplin longer than I thought. I will be really honest and say that God is dealing with my heart on this matter pretty hardcore. There is such a stigma on college students staying in Joplin after school. It's like work here isn't good enough, but if you look around there are so many people who have made their lives here. I am trying to be okay with this idea. I don't in any way think that this is permanent. In fact, I am confident it is not, but for now God has called me to stay for an undetermined amount of time and asked my full committment without planning. It has pushed my faith and trust in his providance immeasurably. It has called me to lay down rights that I see others not having to lay down and desire to keep for myself. I know I cannot. Lonnie Holbrook spoke the other day at Colllege Age Retreat and said something to the effect of "if we do not commit to God fully and lay down our rights, He will not use us". This has echoed in my mind for days and though I am not sure if I am ready, I don't think I have a choice but to be. It is either obedience to a call to the unknown or direct disobedience. It isn't hard to figure out which you do. When Quade asked Lonnie how he did it, how he made the decision to just dive in, Lonnie asnwered 'I just did'. I really think that's the only answer you can have to God asking for it all. You either jump or you don't, you cannot go half way, you cannot reason it out logically, you jump in and trust that He will be there to catch you.