¿Estamos contentos?

Since I have no classes, I have been participating in the Honors Freshmen Forum class discussion board. It's a lot of fun to see the cognitive process of freshmen. They are still so fresh to the college scene and real world ideas that to pick their brains can be a very refreshing way to spend the day. One of them posted this weekend with the same subject line as this:¿Estamos contentos? She proceeded to note that there had to be a difference between the idea of being happy and being content. It reminded me a lot of this summer and how hard it was to become content when I really wasn't happy. I was so happy that the things that were going on at God's Resort were happening, but at the same time not content to be one of the people called to it. I wanted to be out; out of Joplin, out of the U.S., out of the norm. I went to Jamaica and that made me even more discontent with the growing assuredness that I was called to God's Resort. Then one day in Jamaica a friend shared some truth with me about his experience as a missionary in Mexico. He and his wife had gone through the same feelings of discontent and restlessness, and he reminded me that we are called to use the abilities and gifts God has given us, but He is the one who calls us where He needs us. Where He calls us to, we must be content in going. Because we love Him more than anything else, we are content to be where He places us. When I looked at it from that perspective suddenly everything seemed different. Coming back to Joplin, I made the choice to be content where God had me, first in Joplin, then at God's Resort. It was a struggle, but I can safely say I made it after a month or so. Being content though wasn't the same as being happy. So many things were happening and changing all at once that I can be very honest and say I wasn't very happy. I loved that so much good could come out of us being there, but was not very happy in my new lifestyle. It was uncomfortable, unknown, and unrelenting. Life was full of questions, feeling inadequate, mistake after mistake, and so many other new and difficult thigns to face that I didn't enjoy what I was so sure I should be doing anyway. This past week changed that though. This past week I felt a part of our neighborhood in a real and personal way. We were in the homes of families, talking to parents, teaching kids to dance, feeding them, and just loving them. We walked the neighborhood, went rollerblading, and shared even the boring parts of our lives with the kids. We met new people, saw success, and saw change. How could I experience all of that and not be happy? How could I be sitting here knowing how much God loves me and those He has entrusted me with and not rejoice? So I now choose to be happy.