Sep 25, 2007
An Appreciation for Silence
I used to hate the silence. My idea of relaxing never involved being away from noise. I love big cities, big groups, loud music, and kids. None of these things lend themselves to quiet. In the last week though I have reached sound overload. I have no desire to be around people in general, no desire to talk, I am done. This isn't good, I know, and it too can be overcome, but I'm gonna try not rushing it. I need the silence. I need to have a break from constantly talking, listening, and analyzing. I want to hear God speak. Or maybe even just rest in His presence. That's all.
Sep 17, 2007
Update from 14th and Pearl
So on an objective side, I figured I should write just some of the happenings and going ons down in the neighborhood.
Next Sunday evening is a big concert thrown by Calvary Baptist in our backyard! Great Day of Service for College Heights is going to end with a Block Party on our street as well in October.
We have started going to the home group at the Blue House and that has been really good so far. A lot of adults from the neighborhood come so we get to meet them. The church bought the Blue House and are now fixing the other half to make it all one big community house! One of the Sunday schools adopted some apartments and will be remodeling them. Unfortunately the remodeling of the blue house begins at aroudn 6:30 am every morning and therefore sleep is difficult in my part of the house.
The whole neighborhood seems to be on high stress mode lately. Two of the kids are verging on being out of control and I here them being reprimanded pretty much every morning now. There is something about the location of my room where I can hear almost every house on our corner if people are yelling. One of the kids is going through a rough time right now and really needs intense prayer. I was full of a lot more energy in the last week, but with some of the stuff going on, especially with the one girl, Satan has just sucked me dry emotionally and physically. This kind of goes back to Megan talking about trying to carry everyone's burdens instead of laying them at the cross, but I don't even realize I am doing it until I am just ready to collapse.
We are getting a new stove! Someone came by the other day, not even knowing ours didn't work and offered it! It's such a huge blessing and so unexpected. I honestly feel like God saw how much we wanted one, but we knew it wasn't necessary and He blessed us anyway. That's pretty cool.
I took three of the girls for a drive and we got to pet some horses which was really cool as well. They had never been around horses before and absolutely loved it.
Our hot water is back on, after a four day absence. Still no word on a heating system in our house yet, but other than that things are going pretty well.
Next Sunday evening is a big concert thrown by Calvary Baptist in our backyard! Great Day of Service for College Heights is going to end with a Block Party on our street as well in October.
We have started going to the home group at the Blue House and that has been really good so far. A lot of adults from the neighborhood come so we get to meet them. The church bought the Blue House and are now fixing the other half to make it all one big community house! One of the Sunday schools adopted some apartments and will be remodeling them. Unfortunately the remodeling of the blue house begins at aroudn 6:30 am every morning and therefore sleep is difficult in my part of the house.
The whole neighborhood seems to be on high stress mode lately. Two of the kids are verging on being out of control and I here them being reprimanded pretty much every morning now. There is something about the location of my room where I can hear almost every house on our corner if people are yelling. One of the kids is going through a rough time right now and really needs intense prayer. I was full of a lot more energy in the last week, but with some of the stuff going on, especially with the one girl, Satan has just sucked me dry emotionally and physically. This kind of goes back to Megan talking about trying to carry everyone's burdens instead of laying them at the cross, but I don't even realize I am doing it until I am just ready to collapse.
We are getting a new stove! Someone came by the other day, not even knowing ours didn't work and offered it! It's such a huge blessing and so unexpected. I honestly feel like God saw how much we wanted one, but we knew it wasn't necessary and He blessed us anyway. That's pretty cool.
I took three of the girls for a drive and we got to pet some horses which was really cool as well. They had never been around horses before and absolutely loved it.
Our hot water is back on, after a four day absence. Still no word on a heating system in our house yet, but other than that things are going pretty well.
Transparency Part II
Something has been off in my relationship with Christ and I think I finally figured out what it is. This summer was an amazing time of growth for me and I came out of it a different person, but the last couple of weeks something has had me completely scattered. Randy Gariss always talks about how we cannot be those people who come on Sundays to get our fix and live off church for the rest of the week with no real continuing time with God. I hadn't thought that was me because, well first of all I am at the church all the time, but also because I have been really fighting for time and relationship with Christ. I was going through a study today and something jumped out at me from the text, "to live where I can listen is all He calls me too." I realized suddenly that I am seeking and seeking, but never slowing down enough to wait for a response. The text went further to say that we must be "weak enough to listen, but strong enough to wait."
I do not think this means I need to move from God's Resort, but it did make me realize that the way I spend my time does not allow time to actually commune with God and allow Him a chance to speak. It's no wonder I keep asking and getting no response. He is fighting and fighting to get through all I have put before Him. So, I'm going to try this week being a better listener. I think this may be part of the reason Meg and I have been so exhausted. We desperately are crying out for His strength and His help, but we won't stop long enough to really let Him be that for us.
I do not think this means I need to move from God's Resort, but it did make me realize that the way I spend my time does not allow time to actually commune with God and allow Him a chance to speak. It's no wonder I keep asking and getting no response. He is fighting and fighting to get through all I have put before Him. So, I'm going to try this week being a better listener. I think this may be part of the reason Meg and I have been so exhausted. We desperately are crying out for His strength and His help, but we won't stop long enough to really let Him be that for us.
transparent
These last few weeks Katie and I have been feeling exhausted. The funny thing is that at the same time I feel like we aren't doing anything. I know we are doing stuff, we are working, I'm going to school, doing stuff with the college age, and stuff with the kids, not to mention hanging out with friends and family.
So at prayer meeting (Thursdays at the church) i was thinking about why we were so tired. And it hit me, we have been living at God's resort for over a month now, and the spiritual battles that go on around us are taking a tole on our bodies.
Jay said something the other day that really hit home for me. It was something along the ways of if we try and carry the burdens of everyone we come in contact with down at God's Resort we will always be totally exhausted, because we don't have the strength to, so what we need to do is carry the burdens to Christ, take them to Him and he will carry them. o how true these words are. as it says in Matt 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"
Let us rest in Him.
So at prayer meeting (Thursdays at the church) i was thinking about why we were so tired. And it hit me, we have been living at God's resort for over a month now, and the spiritual battles that go on around us are taking a tole on our bodies.
Jay said something the other day that really hit home for me. It was something along the ways of if we try and carry the burdens of everyone we come in contact with down at God's Resort we will always be totally exhausted, because we don't have the strength to, so what we need to do is carry the burdens to Christ, take them to Him and he will carry them. o how true these words are. as it says in Matt 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"
Let us rest in Him.
Sep 4, 2007
A Weekend Away
I went to Dallas this weekend and saw a Goo Goo Dolls/Lifehouse concert. The concert was amazing, being in a city even more amazing, but what struck me most was how awkward it all felt in the end. We were staying in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Dallas right next to SMU and everything was so clean and just beautiful. Part of me had so much fun being there, and the other half couldn't wait to get out and get home. I just finished These Strange Ashes by Elisabeth Elliot and a quote I was reading on the way to Dallas fit so perfectly my thoughts the whole trip; it described the fight to establish standards in your living condition, to maintain some type of cleanliness, and yet how no matter what it seemed your standards were too poor for one world and too good for the other. How it feels like you are living between two worlds, unable to become a resident in either world, and feeling therefore never at home. I think sometimes I would rather be in another country trying to be a missionary. In no way do I think we have it harder, but we do face this really weird battle constantly that the world we are trying to fit into, but don't really, the world we are trying to reach, can be escaped so easily. All we have to do is get in our car and drive 10 minutes and we can be free of the messiness that is where we live. The chaos of hygiene, emotions, values, and safety can be pushed aside and replaced by a coffee from Starbucks. It makes immersion impossible, and finding a balance very difficult.
On a different note. The kids need prayer. They are in school with little familial support or understanding of the importance of education. They lie, constantly and without any reason. They aren't in trouble and yet still cannot be honest in their stories. They rat on each other all the time, even if its not true. There is this sense of survival that preceeds their relationships and if getting one kid in trouble for something he didn't do makes you move up in favor then its worth it. Therefore it's almost like you can never reward good behavior because it is so abused. Or maybe there is a way and we just don't know it yet. Either way, they really need the prayer. The idea of seeing these kids grow up to walk with Christ is the most beautiful picture I can cling to at this point. I know they have it in them. Specifically if you could pray for one family in which a lot of yelling takes place. I can only imagine the impact this has had on the kids in the household. I can hear it almost every morning out my window and it scares me so I cannot bear to think how the kids handle it. Please remember them as much as possible.
On a different note. The kids need prayer. They are in school with little familial support or understanding of the importance of education. They lie, constantly and without any reason. They aren't in trouble and yet still cannot be honest in their stories. They rat on each other all the time, even if its not true. There is this sense of survival that preceeds their relationships and if getting one kid in trouble for something he didn't do makes you move up in favor then its worth it. Therefore it's almost like you can never reward good behavior because it is so abused. Or maybe there is a way and we just don't know it yet. Either way, they really need the prayer. The idea of seeing these kids grow up to walk with Christ is the most beautiful picture I can cling to at this point. I know they have it in them. Specifically if you could pray for one family in which a lot of yelling takes place. I can only imagine the impact this has had on the kids in the household. I can hear it almost every morning out my window and it scares me so I cannot bear to think how the kids handle it. Please remember them as much as possible.
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