Sometimes I feel like our house is just one giant extension of the outside yard. Like the walls aren't really there, but are just mere allusions pretending to keep things out. We cleaned and cleaned on Monday and at the end of it, didn't have a lot to show for our work. Things look better, but they just don't look clean.

A significant hole fell out of my closet ceiling the other day during community dinner. Water had been leaking all winter and still hadn't been fixed this past Thursday when it finally just flooded through. My clothes were soaked, boxes wet, and debris was everywhere. Not the most pleasant experience by the end of it. The bugs are back. I killed four this morning getting ready in my room. I have to say I didn't miss them at all over the winter. The basement is flooded again, nothing too bad, but enough to make it stink pretty bad by and in my room and the porch smells like wet cats right now. It's really nothing new though which is why it is so funny that I am feeling it so heavily today.

We have lived at God's Resort now for 8 months and I would not take any of it back, but the house is wearing on me today. I am sure next week I will be a different person and it will be fine, but today my spirit is worn down by the chaos and disfunctional nature of our living environment.