I went to Dallas this weekend and saw a Goo Goo Dolls/Lifehouse concert. The concert was amazing, being in a city even more amazing, but what struck me most was how awkward it all felt in the end. We were staying in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Dallas right next to SMU and everything was so clean and just beautiful. Part of me had so much fun being there, and the other half couldn't wait to get out and get home. I just finished These Strange Ashes by Elisabeth Elliot and a quote I was reading on the way to Dallas fit so perfectly my thoughts the whole trip; it described the fight to establish standards in your living condition, to maintain some type of cleanliness, and yet how no matter what it seemed your standards were too poor for one world and too good for the other. How it feels like you are living between two worlds, unable to become a resident in either world, and feeling therefore never at home. I think sometimes I would rather be in another country trying to be a missionary. In no way do I think we have it harder, but we do face this really weird battle constantly that the world we are trying to fit into, but don't really, the world we are trying to reach, can be escaped so easily. All we have to do is get in our car and drive 10 minutes and we can be free of the messiness that is where we live. The chaos of hygiene, emotions, values, and safety can be pushed aside and replaced by a coffee from Starbucks. It makes immersion impossible, and finding a balance very difficult.
On a different note. The kids need prayer. They are in school with little familial support or understanding of the importance of education. They lie, constantly and without any reason. They aren't in trouble and yet still cannot be honest in their stories. They rat on each other all the time, even if its not true. There is this sense of survival that preceeds their relationships and if getting one kid in trouble for something he didn't do makes you move up in favor then its worth it. Therefore it's almost like you can never reward good behavior because it is so abused. Or maybe there is a way and we just don't know it yet. Either way, they really need the prayer. The idea of seeing these kids grow up to walk with Christ is the most beautiful picture I can cling to at this point. I know they have it in them. Specifically if you could pray for one family in which a lot of yelling takes place. I can only imagine the impact this has had on the kids in the household. I can hear it almost every morning out my window and it scares me so I cannot bear to think how the kids handle it. Please remember them as much as possible.
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